It's that time again...

We've all noticed the allergies are back...we've all noticed the ants have re-instated themselves...we've all noticed the dipples.

Yes, I'm sorry to say the dipples are back. In our mouths, in our noses, in our ears. Crawling though our esophagus at a remarkable rate. Ever coming, never going...well, I suppose they must go if they come...yes, they must have gone at some time.

The point is that they're here. And they won't be leaving any time soon...well, until it's time for them to go...yes, I guess they must go if they come back.

They're discouraging us...we begin to work on our homework...ah, there's a dipple. The dipples are present while we eat, while we sleep, while we clean, while we weep. They're forever distracting us; our mother's forever asking us if they will leave. Yes, they'll leave, of coarse they'll leave. Afterall, they have to leave if they plan on coming back.

And they always do. Yes, the dipples are quick, sly, and cunning. They'll come, sooner or later. You'll feel a dipple between you're toes, and when you do you'll know; yes you'll know it's time for the dipples to come...of course they came..they went, didn't they?

Of coarse they went, they couldn't come if they hadn't went. And the dipples always come, so whichever way you please, they went. We'll find that as a comfort when they're crawling through our hair; they went. The couldn't have came if they hadn't went.

I discovered a mildly entertaining site which I s'pose you could visit and have a pleasent time.
http://jigzone.com

Who took it?
When did they take it?
Why did they take it?
Where did they put it?

10 Tips for a Successful Existence

1. Mozzarella cheese is not a whoopee cushion; it will not make the proper farting noise, and is distressing to sit upon.
2. Jokes are preferred to be paired with a punch line.
3. Mega-phones should be used at a long distance only.
4. Aloe-Vera bottles are known to explode in the microwave.
5. No is not a substitute for yes; yes is not a substitute for no.
6. Letters will not go to the correct place when labeled with the wrong address.
7. Vanilla mint toothpaste does not mix well with…anything.
8. You (cannot) put any random word (in) parenthesis.
9. The @ symbol means ‘at’, not attention please everybody; yes I would like your attention.
10. Magnets only stick to magnet-friendly surfaces.

The Motto of the United States of America

Do unto others as...there is even the smallest possibilty they could do to you in the future.

I'm Bored...

Is anyone out there bored? Has anyone out there been bored? I predict a general murmer of agreement has followed.
We're not always bored when we think we are. Occasionaly, when we think we are bored we are merely hoping for something that beats drawing or reading. Those activities are not boring, but we want something more exciting.
Have you ever noticed that you are more frequently bored after taking a vacation or been at an amusment park? Esspecially when you get back at 1:00 p.m., with nearly half the day left. The problem is, we're still used to having something to do right off the bat. Do you really have nothing to do? No. You have nothing to do that beats the Redwoods, Maryland, a Cruise, etc., but there is still that book to finish, that tape to hear, those cookies to bake, or that story to write.
Make sure when you say you're bored, you truly are. Otherwise, you'll be offered the chance to wash the dishes or sweep the floor; the fact that you're bored will be used against you, either immedietly or in the future.

Proportions

The other day, as I wandered hither and thither doing all but that which was necessary, I spotted something strange; something special; something suspicious; and something that must at once be fixed all in one little unsuspecting seemingly undisruptive sphere. It just so happens that, as I was gazing at the book shelf I recently moved over that tomato stain, I spotted a globe. Yes, one of those fancy spinnable affairs with stars to indicate national capitals and colors to specify the climate in the particuar place.
As I gazed, I couldn't help but notice that it was WAY out of proportion. No, I am not refering to the fact that Greenland is equal to the size of the U.S., but that the whole THING was way out of proportion. I mean, the world is WAY bigger then that. For those who have also noticed this error, I feel for you.

The Tomato in the Corner

Warner's General Warning: Do not read this if you have tomatophobia.

In an acute and seemingly irrelevant corner in my house, where the walls are chipped and the sideboards scratched; where the electric outlets are phonies and there's an abundance of dust; there and only there lies the biggest...the baddest...the ripest...and the juiciest tomato yet to be discovered. Why is it there? Another story completely.
It started when Will (my big brother's best buddy) was house sitting. But it ended with something much badder...much less innocent. And so we begin the tale of a torn tomato in a position of terror-- the tomato in the corner.
Will was swaggering through the house last Sunday, pondering lunch, when he opened the refridgerator. Nothing in there but a vegitable; enter our tomato. Dissapointed, Will began to close the door. And then he remembered that tomatos were a key ingredient in a hamburger-- which were, infact, pretty good. He reached for the tomato, and, unsuspectingly, poked it. He felt inside. He felt IT. He screamed and left the house full blast, tossing the tomato behind him carelessly. What did we find when we returned, but a tomato sitting in the corner of our house. And it's been laying there ever since...all of us to aprensive to touch it. And there I suspect it will lay for ever, because, in the words of Issac Newton, "An object at rest will stay at rest unless acted on by a force such as gravity or friction."

Important Notice:

There is little more satisfying then chugging milk straight from the jug. You should try it sometime when no one's around. I did.

The Thrill Of It All

We all channel surf…and because the infomercials are scattered on random channels, it takes a while for us to find the best one: the one with the jewelry. Anyway, as we flip through the multitude of maddening media, we are almost sure to encounter the best of the bunch: the golf channel.
We all like action movies, loaded with thrill that makes your heart skip a beat. Unfortunately, not all of us can afford to rent one every time we catch the hankering. This would be a problem if we didn’t have that handy channel thirty-some, just waiting to be clicked on.
So you’ve coaxed you’re out-of-whack remote to thirty-some, and are greeted by… what? A load of grass? No, silly goose, that’s golf. You just happened to switch there at the wrong time-in the 20 minutes that the camera surveys the grass. Oh, wait there it goes…that little white ball. That one you can hardly see. That one that’s rolling past the tree…the post…the dock. That one that just fell into the water. Splash. Bummer for whacker 21. Oh well. Now he’s got to fish it out. Where’s his cart? There it is. Yes, it would be a bother to go through the trouble of actually walking that hundred feet.
And up comes whacker 58. Slowly. Slowly. The cat’s asleep. Here he is, standing two feet away from the hole. He hits. Suspense…He makes it. Yesssssss.
You get my point.

Saturday's Quote

This is my home
this is my only home
this is the only sacred ground that I have ever known
and should I stray
in the dark night alone
rock me goddess in the gentle arms of eden.

-gentle arms of eden, dave carter.

Clouds

Hi, Everbody.
I'm in school right now, in my Reading Enrichment class. I've got basically nothing to do, because I've already done what we're supposed to be doing. Next to me, my friend is coloring a cloud gray, because it's a rain cloud. I usually leave my clouds white.

Saturday's Quote

in praise or lamentation, peace or desperation
any way i do, i come into the presence of the lord.
-anyway i do, dave carter.

Reminiscing April Fools

April Fools Day; The only day, perhaps, that many of us are labeled clever and tricky. Also the only day that we can lie to people without being thoroughly busted, and turn the clocks back without getting the third degree. The day that, in the words of Mark Twain, "we are reminded of what we are on the other 364." But unless we want to be unpleasant people, I recommend you follow the following guidelines:
Do not make people...
a) cry.
b) blow up
or
c) hate you for the rest of their life.

Here are five things to keep out of your clever April Fool schemes:
1. Explosions
2. Rubber bands
3. Screams
4. Mass Destruction
5. Reports that you and Sara made up and brought to school to tell Paige were due, then running ahead and asking your teacher to pretend were due also. It's not a good idea when your teacher tells Paige they are worth 200 points on her grade, because Paige will get teary eyed. Your teacher will get worried and tell her it's a trick, and you won't even be able to yell "April Fools!" with Sara.