Questiono of the Dayo

(hey if you were wondering, that title is written in Italian. Betcha didn't know I can speak Italian. Nothing to it, really. I won't lie to you. Just add an 'o' on the end of every word, or basically when you think it needs it, and your BIG LIE might convince some people.)

Ok, here it is:

What do you do when you get really, really, really, super duper mad?

Cause when you're not THAT mad, but you still might be trying to impress someone, you come up with some witty comeback, undoubtedly long after the recipient has gone on their merry way.

And when you're not mad at all, but you'd like a little bit of sympathy, you probably stick out your lower lip and pout (flirtatiously, if there's a guy around).

And when there's really nothing wrong, hey, don't say there is. BECAUSE THAN I THINK YOU'RE A GROUCH.

But seriously, I know harm and chit and have fun and limes and fmg don't do most of that stuff. I just wanted to add a little to this post so it's not just one of those seriously lame question of the days that are just basically saying, hey I'll just ask a simple question and you'll kill yourself over coming up with a satisfying reply.

-annonymous.

Ok, i take it back. Not annoymous. Seriously, I have fed-exed that one.

In all actuality, actually...

You know how when you really super don't want one thing to happen, it does like two seconds after you were just thinking, "hey I hope this doesn't happen. That would suck!" ? Like when you've got two sheep and a two-for-one port, and you need to buy a city and so you use the two sheep to get a wheat and not an oar, and then on the next roll someone rolls a TWELVE and that's what you had your wheat on and than you're like oh curses I should have gotten an oar? Like that? Or when you kind of jokingly think whoa it's two degrees outside and I'm walkin' home from the library so wouldn't that be the stupidest thing ever if the train that passes through here once a year came TODAY while I'm walkin home from this library and held me up? And then the train doesn't come? Yeah, so not like that.

Well, I was jus thinkin, I think actually that kinda stuff doesn't actually happen as often as we always make it out to be. Actually, in all actuality, it would actually be more like since we always THINK it would happen and so on the rare occasion where it actually does we're just like, "Oh well that's just typical." And then when it doesn't happen we never think anymore about it because what would there be to remind us that earlier we thought oh bet that'll happen? NOTHING!

CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS

This week is the first week of Christmas-ness. Last week was the last week of the fall holidays- Halloween & Thanksgiving.

This means that you must do everything in your power to insure that you are being
Christmas-y. That includes lighting candles, singing carols, and, if necessary, decorating your house with cheap mult-colored lights and gaudy blow-up yard space-fillers of Rudolph and Santa. (Although in my family's case we don't have to cos the lady down the street has taken care of that for the entire court.)

There is also the well-known traditon of POSTING A LOT OF BLOGS. That means you ALL MUST POST A LOT. FMG, do you realize that the last blog you posted was in AUGUST? YES YOU PROBABLY DO BUT THE 'DO YOU REALIZE' PART WAS FOR DRAMATICAL EFFECT.

Everyone else- in a month you could be as far back as FMG. With that in mind, get to it!

Redecorating

This blog has a new look. I know, I know, it's not one of my best. But hey, I was pressed for time; it's 11:03 in the p.m., and Fult has no luck and wants to go to bed. So she just throws on the first (ok, like, fifty millionth. I'm picky even when I'm tired) thing she sees and republishes. But now she really, really, wants to go to bed. So she's gonna stop being picky for the night and go hit the sack.



After she talks about ziplock bags, that is.

She was fixing herself a high-cal mal-nutritious snack, and the cheese was a brand new block. Fult was the first to open it, meaning her portion of cheese would be a little bit slippery and plastic and wrinkled on one end. But no matter. Fult cuts of a generous slice and opens the middle droor to grab a ziplock bag.

Enter the ziplock bag.

There are two sizes for ziplock bags. Small and big. So, not sensing a problem, Fult grabs for the small bag and...

UH OH!!!

THIS FRESH BLOCK OF CHEESE IS TOO...FRIKIN'....BIG FOR THE SMALL ZIPLOCK BAG.

So Fult cheerily finds the larger size and drops the block of cheese into it...And never hears it land.

You see, there's a small and big size of ziplocks, but no medium. So if you were going to package a, say, fresh block of cheese, you would be in deep yougurt. Cause when you're dealing with ziplock bags, one size doesn't fit all.

Fult will now go to bed now that she's got that load of her chest (wipes the cold sweat off her brow).

Night.

the tomato in the corner (i've dissapointed you all...)

locate archives. click april. scroll to 'the tomato in the corner.'

"In an acute and seemingly irrelevant corner in my house..."

WHAT WAS I THINKING????!!!!

corners are not acute.

"Nothing in there but a vegitable..."

fulton creek cannot spell 'vegitable'.


"all of us to aprensive to touch it..."

no one is, and will ever be, aprensive . however, one might dare to be apprehensive.

i can't feel my ears.

actually, that was a bit of a clever joke, that title was, because I can. But my ears can't feel me!!! I touched them and got, like, zero responce. They were either ignoring me or they're as flipping cold as I am.

you guys, we are slackers. none of us has updated our blogs in like the past three years. and i'm thinking maybe we need to renew our card. which was a clever and metaphorical little catchphrase that i just came up with for saying "HURRY UP AND POST SOMETHING SOMEONE BUT NAMING NO ONE IN PARTICULAR HARM CHAT FMG HAVE FUN AND LIMES!"

Question of the Day

Why is it that the people who's normal language is english and they just learnernd spanish only speak it to people who don't and we can't understand them anyway and it just gets on their nerves and then when they're around someone who does speak spanish they're all, oh, i don't know very much. HELLO?! WHAT HAVE I BEEN HEARING FOR THE LAST DECADE???

Converstation-Stoppers 101

These clever anecdotes are sure to get the, uh, whatever, response from every bratty snoothead you ever meet! ever!


The world's oldest active parliamentary body is the Icelandic Althing which met first before the year 1000.

The targets in both skeet and trap shooting, commonly called clay pigeons, are actually made from tar and pitch.

America's only statue of Charles Dickens graces Clark Park in Philadelphia, just off the University of Pennsylvania campus.

It takes a week to make a jelly bean.

The University of Texas system is the third-largest landowner in the United States.

When wearing a Kimono Japanese women wear socks called "Tabi". The big toe of the sock is separated from the rest of the toes, like a thumb from a mitten.

Quote of the Day

Why don't they call carbonated bubble-nated?

-Jake

Stickyish.

The weather was so gross today everybody! it was like rainy and foggy and humid! sick! mother and i walked to school around the time the humidness was at it's grossest. wooo eeee! i felt that sticky stuff all over me all day! anyway, i very much would've have liked to hop home and climb in the shower, except for these weird gas checkers are comming to visit our furnace and there's this company policy where no one can be hot and sticky and then get in the shower while they're working there. that's not true. actually there isn't supposed to be a minor with out a major at home while they're there so i have to go with mom to pick up my fellow minor. and then i'm gonna take a shower. and read a book.

Technical & Ariel

That old font was hard to read. That's why I changed it. Does everybody have the font "technical" on their computer? Cause that's the one I used and I don't want you to be seeing "ariel" on your stupid mac (sorry harm i know you like macs) while my other PC priviledged viewers our gazing in ecstasy at my astehically pleasing decorating skills.

Wednesday is one of my favorites! That's on account of quizzing and YG and voice lessons. i'm going to let you in on a secret: i didn't practice very much this week. but i'm going to practice today.

AND EVERYONE ELSE BETTER TOO, NAMING NO ONE IN PARTICULAR FMG HARM AND CHATTERY!


But don't get too excited because i can't do that all right now. in fact, right now i should be doing homework. but then i had this huge contemplation over life and then i'm like, nah, i'm gonna go get on the internet.

and then i had another one and now i'm like, nah, i should go finish my homework.

-anonymous

What a Next Blog Said

As I was merrily next-blogging along, i encountered a site reading the words "i write, therefore i blog." I TOTTALY COMPLETELY ABSOLUTELY disagreed with her. "No!" I cried!

This is because we are all writers, and our little blogging group hasn't seen something posted since august somethingth, which is practically the stone ages!!!

(there was an age called the stone age, right bec?)

What a Next Blog Said

As I was merrily next-blogging along, i encountered a site reading the words "i write, therefore i blog." I TOTTALY COMPLETELY ABSOLUTELY disagreed with her. "No!" I cried!

This is because we are all writers, and our little blogging group hasn't seen something posted since august somethingth, which is practically the stone ages!!!

(there was an age called the stone age, right bec?)

What a Next Blog Said

As I was merrily next-blogging along, i encountered a site reading the words "i write, therefore i blog." I TOTTALY COMPLETELY ABSOLUTELY disagreed with her. "No!" I cried!

This is because we are all writers, and our little blogging group hasn't seen something posted since august somethingth, which is practically the stone ages!!!

(there was an age called the stone age, right bec?)

I updated my blog today because of the fact of it being a whole new school year and all. The biggest reason I love the start of September is because of the colors. No, that's not original. Everyone loves Autumn leaves. Me too. Anyway, I deleted a couple of the posts I was sick of seeing, like the one about Bi-Mart. Infact, I think we were all sick of seeing that. Happy new school year, everybody! You better be psyched. I'm psyched.

Yearly Meeting

I can't even explain my experience at Yearly Meeting- I know the rundown I gave my family when I got home didn't cover half of the week. Or a fourth of what i learned about Quakerism. So I guess FMG and Harm'll just have to come next year.
Oh hear comes the exciting part...
signed,
the 2006 JUNIOR HIGH ASSITANT CLERK.

Wonder of the Worlds- Answered!

Why do old ladies wear gloves to tea parties?

A long time ago, when they had not yet invented stoves, they had to heat up water by putting the cup of water out in the sun. Unfortunately, this made the cup all hot. So they wore gloves like we wear oven mits. And who wants to wear oven mits to a tea party?

From a Wise Old Man...

Along with our quote of the day: "I made it clear to the world that either you're with us or you're with the enemy.
-President George W. Bush

Birthday Alarm

Last year, I started getting those 'Birthday Alarm' e-mails in my inbox. For those conservative consumers who haven't yet heard, 'Birthday Alarm' "sets FREE reminders so that you never forget a birthday again!" However, although the concept of Birthday Alarm is all well and good, the details have faults. In this case, the small print isn't even printed.

To begin with, here's a little backround information: Birthday Alarm is a service that, with your permission, sends an e-mail to everybody in your address book that requests all this personal information, including your year, month, and day of birth. Then, on that special day, an e-mail is sent to you reminding you it is your friend's b-day.

The problem is, the e-mail is sent on the birthday. Which gives you about enough time to send a belated birthday card and apologize. If this free service is truly for the greater good of American Citizens, wouldn't it make more sense to send the e-mail three days in advance?

An appreciative friend is going to make you feel a little guilty when he/she thanks you for remembering his/her special day. There's a little George Washington in everyone, so what exactly can you say? "Oh, I didn't remember, an automatic internet service sent me an e-mail to remind me." Half the point of a b-day card is to show a friend that you were thinking of them. "Actually, I wasn't thinking of you until I checked my e-mail." Smooth.

I was a late riser. I didn't come along until the early 1990s, which means I'm too young to use Birthday Alarm. So far as I know, I can ask it to send the e-mail, but when it's sent to me I can either screw it and be forgotten on my special day, or lie and say I was born somewhere in the 1980s. Which upsets Washington.

So far as I know, we all got along fine before Birthday Alarm came along. Close friends don't even send birthday cards. That's something relitives in Ohio do. And they never remember anyway.

Spiiiiral.

This is like a trick picture, or abstract art or something. It's weird, because you think you see a spiral, but it's not really there.

This isn't the only new post, so scroll down when you're done.

I know that you, like me, have probably been told that your belly button is a scar from your umbilical cord. This is because text books like to invent complicated excuses.

But there's a problem with that excuse. That totally does not explain innies and outies and
inbetweenies. I mean, a cord can't just pop out or sneak half way before it gets cut. Why? Because that would be CHEATING, that's why. He'd have some kinda head start.

Well, it's about time you knew the truth. Your belly button is used for storing things in. Have you noticed that it's the zact same size as chocolate chips and pony beads and tomato seeds? Did you think that was a coincidence?

It's just too unlikely that all those things could conceivably fit in there coincidentally. I dunno about you, but my belly button's big and deep, and perfect for lotion or erasers, or maybe spare change. Well, a quarter couldn't fit in there, but maybe a dime or a Canadian penny.

POP QUIZ! POP QUIZ! POP QUIZ! POP QUIZ!

(Ha! I caught you unawares.)

You're walking along the street and you have no purse on you. You happen to spot a million dollar nickel! But remember, you have no purse. Your fingers would make smudge marks. What do you do?

A) Sigh and put it back down.
B) Carry it then promise yourself to wash it off as soon as you get home.
C) SLIP IT IN TO YOUR BELLY BUTTON FOR LATER!!! (DING DING DING! :) )

Now take a stab. I won't tell you, or even give a hint as to which one.

Mostly As:

You give up too easily and throw away your money. You lack thriftiness and creativity.

Mostly Bs:

You don't consider the possibilities before you act. Notice that if if you were to wash it off, you would wash off the worth as well. You lack reason and intelligence (hmm..sorry about that).

Mostly Cs:

Congradulations! You are a hard worker and a fair player! You are generous, kind, and you have tremendous faith in others. You are beautiful and understanding, and are thoughtful and courageous.

How'd you do? When you add up your scores, try to build off of your weaknesses. Except, of coarse, if you had mostly Cs, in which case you lack nothing and have everything.

Abrv.

bf was originally boy friend, not best friend.


Think of all the abbrivations people us as an escape route from having to write out the whole entire word. We have to consider two things: 1. How much time is it really saving us? And, 2. Does the abbrivation make sense? If so, wat exactly does it stand for?

There are common abbriviations, like 'LOL (Laughing out loud, lots of love, or lugging old luggage), JK (Just kidding, Joanne Kathleen- as in Rowling- and Jelly Krunchie), and ptdcgbiwtmiwmmp (pass that delicious chicken gravy because I want to mix it with my mashed potatoes, and please Terry, don't create goofy behavior in windy temperatures, making it way more muddy possibly).

We also have to take into consideration if it actually stands for what it says it does. I know for an almost fact that M.D. stands for 'Making Dinner' and P.S. stands for 'Please Stand'. B.F. stands for 'Baked Fruit' and CIA stands for 'Causing Ignorant Actions'. USA stands for 'Untitled Scanned Attatchment' and FBI stads for 'Flippin' Bad Itch.'

These abreviations can still be used liberally, but be careful not to mix them up. For example, do not proclaim you are a faithful citizen of the Untitled Scanned Attatchment, or that you totally made out with your Baked Fruit. That your name is Jane Smith, Making Dinner, or that you are a proud member of the Flippin' Bad Itch.

And for goodness sake, don't close with:

Please Stand: Write back!

Who was it that punched the hole through my favorite C.D.?

Who, infact, punched the holes through my whole impressive stack of 49?

Because I don't appreciate it.

It's not that they don't play nicely anymore- they do. It's that I can't seem to find a whole puncher that big. And if you're going to damage someone else's property, you could atleast have the courtesy to inform me of the tool used to do so. But I s'pose courtesy wasn't the first thing on your mind when you turned my collection into a herd of doughnuts.

A Responce to your Feedback.

Song and Story Fest is fun.

Monkies and penguins are cute.

So are Panther and Cuddles.

Suggestions

What should I write about?
Remeber that time when...??? Come one, come all! I am open to suggestions.

Don't pass this up because it's LONG, silly goose! It's important!

Today I noticed tiny footprints skitter skattered all over my yard. As they weren't in a line, I was puzzled. There was one over by the window, one by the strawberry patch, and one tucked into the folds of the hammock. Not only did it appear that this mysterious creature could fly, but also that he knew how to tuck footprints.

I sat on the rocking chair by the glass sliding door ( the one with the mark that I didn't wipe off when I had the spray and towel handy cause I thought the mark could've been fish spit which would have been DISGUSTING), and confused myself for a while. I saw nothing of interest; a tree, a plant, a grass or two, some chairs, a flying squirrel- holy goodness gracious! A flying squirrel!- and a duck.

Now what creature could be leaving those marks? Asked me to myself. I decided I'd wait up all night 'til I seed what animal could've been traipsing through the yard.

It worked. That night, as I lay halfish asleep in my rocking chair by the glass sliding door (the one with the mark that I didn't wipe off when I had the spray and towel handy cause I thought the mark could've been fish spit which would have been DISGUSTING), I spotted something moving. There was a tree, a plant, a grass or two, some chairs, and- holy goodness gracious! A flying squirrel was flying through my yard at break-neck speed and I hadn't noticed it before!!! This has got to be the most obvious thing in the world, and as obvious, if not more obvious, than that obvious duck obviously waddling through my yard (and really obviously!). Actually, the flying squirrel picked him up by the scruff of his neck and set him in random places. I figured that was where the prints were coming from, and the fact that the squirrel was carrying him around the yard was the reason for no pattern in the footprints.

This morning, I awoke to the beautiful endless songs of praise from the blue birds that sing outside my window. They crowd around in a flock, as I spring out of bed, throw on my nightgown, and fling handfuls of birdseed out my window. This all happens as cheesy insperational music can be heard from all around me.
I dash into the kitchen,where a bowl of cereal and milk is awaiting me on the counter. A spoon lays beside it, and as I sit down, a blue bird flys down and spreads a napkin on my lap to express his gratitude for the birdseed. Another comes flying in, but this time with almonds and strawberries, which he sprinkles over my cereal, kisses me on the head, and flys away.

Nevermind.

I wan't to warn you to spice your blog up. This is because, as I impatiently clicked "next blog" for about five minutes, trying to find a mildly interesting one, I'm certain I judged every...single...one by glancing at the regular stuff; the font, template, etc. If yours isn't set aside from all the rest you see, it will become another helpless brick in ones journey to reach an interesting.
Yes, it's that important.
BTW, that last line was off the AI steak sauce bottle. Did you recognize it?

Today's Mouse Joke:

What's a variety of colors and appears in the sky?

A tie-dyed mouse flying.

I have come to the conclusion that the "random questions" are not to be answered plainly, but to be outsmarted by a wise and sarcastic witticism. Looking at other random people's blogs, I've realized that it's true for all.

Summer

I realize everything I've been posting has been pretty much trash for a while. Nothing's been real, served any meaning or purpose. This, though, is 100% true (probably why most of it'll be quite the nap).

The highlights and lowlights of the future happenings in the summer of 2005:

There are seventeen days left of school as of May 22nd.

After the BBQ, YG is at Chapters...Correct me if I'm on, ye with more info. We lost the calender two hours after I recieved it.

In the two hours I had to examine the YG calendar, I noticed all these cool plans; like the beach with the outlet malls (which I am missing; &$%#@!) & Wild Waves (Which I am not).

And Tween Camp (which I am missing).

Because I'm going to be at an AWESOME camp on a farm in Indianna.

Where they do not spray their mosquitos.

Lime's b-day! What should I get her? E-mail me. Lime is a regular blogger and will no doubt spot any b-day ideas posted.

Mom's b-day. I doubt any of you have ideas as to her gift. I'm thinking Settler's of Catan. Has anyone an idea where to find it?

I'm off to Ohio, ironically scheduled on the same day as the outlet malls & beach (&%$#@!)

Softball season has started...sort of. We've had a total of five practices. Every game scheuled has been canceled.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince is out July 16th.

My B-day (Harmony, will you be here?)

Off to Michigan for a week.

Wild Waves

September: Back to the #$!% house.

Please, this very second, post your summer on your blogs!

I am wondering why we only got one mail today.

And whoever was going to send something and didn't has really got some nerve. Because I really would've liked to recieve that mail. And I didn't. Yesterday I got four or five or six mails. So did the senders take some kind of break today? Because I don't appreciate their break. If that was the case. They might not appreciate the fact that I told them no. Yes, I've told many people no before. And if they were the senders, I'd really like to take it back. Or maybe I called a sender a snob. Or a snoot. Or a sniffle. Because I can certainly see why that would keep them from sending me a mail. I wouldn't send a mail to someone who called me a sniffle. That doesn't even make any sense. Whoever thought of calling someone a sniffle? I didn't think of that. Orlando Bloom didn't think of that. Princess Laya didn't think of that. Elaine didn't think of that. If you thought of that, please answer me. Better yet, mail me the answer.

I don't usually have toast in the morning- too much of a bother. All that sweat and energy put into a seemingly simple task. But I did today, because we had bagles and bagles make one heck of a brekfast. The second I popped the bagle in, it came catapulting back out again at an amazing speed. I peeked in tentively, and what do you think I saw? You guessed it. A mouse trap. Yes, someone had put a mouse trap in the toaster, I guess incase a mouse riggled his way through the bottom. Well, that woudl be a fairly simple chore ever since my cousin through the egg at the toaster. The egg went right through the bottom making this gigantic hole, and ever since then we can't put the first pieces of toast from the new bag in cause they'll just fall right through.

The Ol' Maple

We played soccer in school today. Except, we didn't waste time with nerf balls in PE, this was REAL soccer. Meaning we kicked a bottle cap around at lunch. Anyhow, after an exceptionally high kick, the cap went sailing into the air and hit a nearby maple tree. As it teetered and tottered, at the tips of destruction, someone called the fire department. This was so if the maple might fall and strike a match, the fire department would be there to put out the fire. I still can't believe it, but the buzzing truck of the fire department got here just in time; the tree was tipping, the ground was shaking, and hooray! They grabbed a ladder, leaned it against the tree, one firewomen climbed up and retrieved the bottle cap, and the tree was restored to its natural, sturdy position. Unfortunately, now we can only kick nerf balls around.

Moral: Don't steal from your friends!

Up the Mountain, Over the Cliff

Once, a man climbed up a mountain with nothing except determination. Once there, he strolled over the edge of a cliff and fell onto the rock which the caveman used to discover fire. The man immediately got amnesia and forgot about the rock. The rock was discovered only by the next unfortunate fellow to walk himself right over the edge of the cliff.

One clever civilian decided to climb the mountain from the bottom up, so that he could discover the rock without falling down the mountain and getting amnesia. The man got the rock, hauled it up the mountain, and walked right over the other side of the cliff, where he fell, hit his head on the whoever of a rock that was slinged at Goliath, and caught amnesia.

A passerby climbed the cliff from the side, so he wouldn't fall down either of the cliffs the previous two had. He collected the previous two rocks, climbed up the mountain, fell down the other side of the cliff, and bonked his head on Abraham Lincoln's tombstone and caught amnesia.
A traveler climbed up the last side, so as not to fall down the other three, and gathered the three rocks with success. However, when he reached the top of the cliff, he promptly walked right over the other side, hit his head on the skipping stone I tossed the other day, and....Well, I don't know what happens when someone hits their head on a skipping stone. I s'pose he would have died from the force of falling down the cliff in the first place.

1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?

Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.

2 . How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?

Did you say, Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the refrigerator? That would be a wrong answer.

Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.

3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend. Except one . Which animal does not attend?

The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tests your memory.

Okay, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities.

4. There is a river you must cross but it is inhabited by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat. How do you manage it?

You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? ALL the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting! This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.

According to Anderson Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the professionals they tested got all questions wrong, but many preschoolers got several correct answers. Anderson Consulting says this conclusively disproves the theory that most professionals have the brains of a four year old.

Guys, I really think we

should stop blogging all these posts like mad, and maybe take a break for a while. It's getting out of hand.

Top 5 Converstation Starters

1. What do you think?
2. What have you done in the past ten years?
3. What're your favorites?
4. How is it done?
5. Why?

It's that time again...

We've all noticed the allergies are back...we've all noticed the ants have re-instated themselves...we've all noticed the dipples.

Yes, I'm sorry to say the dipples are back. In our mouths, in our noses, in our ears. Crawling though our esophagus at a remarkable rate. Ever coming, never going...well, I suppose they must go if they come...yes, they must have gone at some time.

The point is that they're here. And they won't be leaving any time soon...well, until it's time for them to go...yes, I guess they must go if they come back.

They're discouraging us...we begin to work on our homework...ah, there's a dipple. The dipples are present while we eat, while we sleep, while we clean, while we weep. They're forever distracting us; our mother's forever asking us if they will leave. Yes, they'll leave, of coarse they'll leave. Afterall, they have to leave if they plan on coming back.

And they always do. Yes, the dipples are quick, sly, and cunning. They'll come, sooner or later. You'll feel a dipple between you're toes, and when you do you'll know; yes you'll know it's time for the dipples to come...of course they came..they went, didn't they?

Of coarse they went, they couldn't come if they hadn't went. And the dipples always come, so whichever way you please, they went. We'll find that as a comfort when they're crawling through our hair; they went. The couldn't have came if they hadn't went.

I discovered a mildly entertaining site which I s'pose you could visit and have a pleasent time.
http://jigzone.com

Who took it?
When did they take it?
Why did they take it?
Where did they put it?

10 Tips for a Successful Existence

1. Mozzarella cheese is not a whoopee cushion; it will not make the proper farting noise, and is distressing to sit upon.
2. Jokes are preferred to be paired with a punch line.
3. Mega-phones should be used at a long distance only.
4. Aloe-Vera bottles are known to explode in the microwave.
5. No is not a substitute for yes; yes is not a substitute for no.
6. Letters will not go to the correct place when labeled with the wrong address.
7. Vanilla mint toothpaste does not mix well with…anything.
8. You (cannot) put any random word (in) parenthesis.
9. The @ symbol means ‘at’, not attention please everybody; yes I would like your attention.
10. Magnets only stick to magnet-friendly surfaces.

The Motto of the United States of America

Do unto others as...there is even the smallest possibilty they could do to you in the future.

I'm Bored...

Is anyone out there bored? Has anyone out there been bored? I predict a general murmer of agreement has followed.
We're not always bored when we think we are. Occasionaly, when we think we are bored we are merely hoping for something that beats drawing or reading. Those activities are not boring, but we want something more exciting.
Have you ever noticed that you are more frequently bored after taking a vacation or been at an amusment park? Esspecially when you get back at 1:00 p.m., with nearly half the day left. The problem is, we're still used to having something to do right off the bat. Do you really have nothing to do? No. You have nothing to do that beats the Redwoods, Maryland, a Cruise, etc., but there is still that book to finish, that tape to hear, those cookies to bake, or that story to write.
Make sure when you say you're bored, you truly are. Otherwise, you'll be offered the chance to wash the dishes or sweep the floor; the fact that you're bored will be used against you, either immedietly or in the future.

Proportions

The other day, as I wandered hither and thither doing all but that which was necessary, I spotted something strange; something special; something suspicious; and something that must at once be fixed all in one little unsuspecting seemingly undisruptive sphere. It just so happens that, as I was gazing at the book shelf I recently moved over that tomato stain, I spotted a globe. Yes, one of those fancy spinnable affairs with stars to indicate national capitals and colors to specify the climate in the particuar place.
As I gazed, I couldn't help but notice that it was WAY out of proportion. No, I am not refering to the fact that Greenland is equal to the size of the U.S., but that the whole THING was way out of proportion. I mean, the world is WAY bigger then that. For those who have also noticed this error, I feel for you.

The Tomato in the Corner

Warner's General Warning: Do not read this if you have tomatophobia.

In an acute and seemingly irrelevant corner in my house, where the walls are chipped and the sideboards scratched; where the electric outlets are phonies and there's an abundance of dust; there and only there lies the biggest...the baddest...the ripest...and the juiciest tomato yet to be discovered. Why is it there? Another story completely.
It started when Will (my big brother's best buddy) was house sitting. But it ended with something much badder...much less innocent. And so we begin the tale of a torn tomato in a position of terror-- the tomato in the corner.
Will was swaggering through the house last Sunday, pondering lunch, when he opened the refridgerator. Nothing in there but a vegitable; enter our tomato. Dissapointed, Will began to close the door. And then he remembered that tomatos were a key ingredient in a hamburger-- which were, infact, pretty good. He reached for the tomato, and, unsuspectingly, poked it. He felt inside. He felt IT. He screamed and left the house full blast, tossing the tomato behind him carelessly. What did we find when we returned, but a tomato sitting in the corner of our house. And it's been laying there ever since...all of us to aprensive to touch it. And there I suspect it will lay for ever, because, in the words of Issac Newton, "An object at rest will stay at rest unless acted on by a force such as gravity or friction."

Important Notice:

There is little more satisfying then chugging milk straight from the jug. You should try it sometime when no one's around. I did.

The Thrill Of It All

We all channel surf…and because the infomercials are scattered on random channels, it takes a while for us to find the best one: the one with the jewelry. Anyway, as we flip through the multitude of maddening media, we are almost sure to encounter the best of the bunch: the golf channel.
We all like action movies, loaded with thrill that makes your heart skip a beat. Unfortunately, not all of us can afford to rent one every time we catch the hankering. This would be a problem if we didn’t have that handy channel thirty-some, just waiting to be clicked on.
So you’ve coaxed you’re out-of-whack remote to thirty-some, and are greeted by… what? A load of grass? No, silly goose, that’s golf. You just happened to switch there at the wrong time-in the 20 minutes that the camera surveys the grass. Oh, wait there it goes…that little white ball. That one you can hardly see. That one that’s rolling past the tree…the post…the dock. That one that just fell into the water. Splash. Bummer for whacker 21. Oh well. Now he’s got to fish it out. Where’s his cart? There it is. Yes, it would be a bother to go through the trouble of actually walking that hundred feet.
And up comes whacker 58. Slowly. Slowly. The cat’s asleep. Here he is, standing two feet away from the hole. He hits. Suspense…He makes it. Yesssssss.
You get my point.

Saturday's Quote

This is my home
this is my only home
this is the only sacred ground that I have ever known
and should I stray
in the dark night alone
rock me goddess in the gentle arms of eden.

-gentle arms of eden, dave carter.

Clouds

Hi, Everbody.
I'm in school right now, in my Reading Enrichment class. I've got basically nothing to do, because I've already done what we're supposed to be doing. Next to me, my friend is coloring a cloud gray, because it's a rain cloud. I usually leave my clouds white.

Saturday's Quote

in praise or lamentation, peace or desperation
any way i do, i come into the presence of the lord.
-anyway i do, dave carter.

Reminiscing April Fools

April Fools Day; The only day, perhaps, that many of us are labeled clever and tricky. Also the only day that we can lie to people without being thoroughly busted, and turn the clocks back without getting the third degree. The day that, in the words of Mark Twain, "we are reminded of what we are on the other 364." But unless we want to be unpleasant people, I recommend you follow the following guidelines:
Do not make people...
a) cry.
b) blow up
or
c) hate you for the rest of their life.

Here are five things to keep out of your clever April Fool schemes:
1. Explosions
2. Rubber bands
3. Screams
4. Mass Destruction
5. Reports that you and Sara made up and brought to school to tell Paige were due, then running ahead and asking your teacher to pretend were due also. It's not a good idea when your teacher tells Paige they are worth 200 points on her grade, because Paige will get teary eyed. Your teacher will get worried and tell her it's a trick, and you won't even be able to yell "April Fools!" with Sara.

Joke Of The 7-Day Period

What do an elephant and grapes have in common?

They're both purple except for the elephant.

Groan...

Well Huna, I'm not what they'd call the early bird :)

Man, was I bummed out this morning to be waking up at 6:30...not 9:00! See, I was used to spending my mornings in uttermost luxury, and groggily forcing myself out of bed at 6:30...isn't.
Sometimes I sympathize with teachers, because who wants to be the sergeants of a military camp that most everyone hates to go to and will do anything to get out of? But like, they haven't done a lot to make school wiz-bang wonderful for us, so maybe they're just bringing down on their own formidable brow.

Ok, it's 6:50 a.m., so I'm gonna quit now and have some coffee...

A Word to the Wise

Yes, Huna. I wrote this.

I thought that, if any of you were going on a safari any time soon, you might be appreciative of the following tip:
Never, ever even think of rubbing your eyes right after you spot an elephant relieving his bladder. This is because elephants are very easily embarrassed, and they cower to think that someone rubbed their eyes proceeding a pee, because the majority of elephants believe that if you rub your eyes, you before must have been staring, due to the water you would need to rub out after affixing your eyes with an unblinking stare. Because everyone feels self conscious peeing in public and in plain view (elephants are no different), to rub your eyes after they pee might imply that you were staring at them, no less.
Sad but true.

It's Not All That Easy

Note: I wrote this to raise awareness of the major problems of some kids, that some adults continue to leave unaddressed. But, just like the some adults who have major problems, we don't want ours to be completely disgarded.

It is a mystery why many adults reckon that kids have such easy lives, especially since only a few decades ago, they were children themselves. I wonder if, due to an unfortunate case of memory loss, they remember their childhood as a simple, unproblematic, care-free, and happy-go-lucky life. If they continue to be unaware of what is really happening in the lives of some of today's children, then I'm afraid of how long this is going to continue unaddressed. I do not want adults to continue to believe that a day in the life of all American Children is like the day in the life of my cat: happy, care-free.
Maybe not all of us kids are worrying about paying the bills or problems at work, but that does not mean that the pressure to be buff and beautiful, thin and big-busted doesn’t exist. The media tells us that, if we’re not all these, we might not be, well, anyone at all.
All this strain can lead to very nasty problems indeed. Bulimia & anorexia, depression, or a feeling of rejection that never goes away. Far too many of cases like these have ended in suicide. It’s so sad that many adults don’t realize what many kids go through until a disaster like this occurs.
Many adults just don’t believe that our life could possibly be as tough as theirs. Undoubtedly, many of us have it easier then our elders, and we can accept that. But far to many elders cannot recognize that many of them have no problems at all compared to a child, possibly their own, or one they know. It is partially this unawareness of our problems that causes these tragedies, and partly our inevitable exposure to the media which tells us to look a certain way or be a certain person. When we discover we can’t be that person, what I listed before can happen.
Because some (I’m not saying 100% of) adults figure we’re not having many problems, they go back to being caught up in their own. If they don’t think we’re having troubles, they don’t question us about it until, in some cases, it’s too late.
I hope that I have raised the awareness of anyone who’s reading this. My aim was, not to criticize adults, but simply to remind them of what some kids’ lives are like, and not to let that go unnoticed.

My Bad

Hey guys, I wasn't aware that the comp would take care of the signing for me on "My First Post," and that's why it was signed twice. I thought you might have thunk my liberal signing was all for the love of it. Nope.

My First Post

Hi everybody (or anybody) who's reading this. I just wanted to make sure you knew this was my first blog and not my second or third.
-Fulton Creek