Warner's General Warning: Do not read this if you have tomatophobia.
In an acute and seemingly irrelevant corner in my house, where the walls are chipped and the sideboards scratched; where the electric outlets are phonies and there's an abundance of dust; there and only there lies the biggest...the baddest...the ripest...and the juiciest tomato yet to be discovered. Why is it there? Another story completely.
It started when Will (my big brother's best buddy) was house sitting. But it ended with something much badder...much less innocent. And so we begin the tale of a torn tomato in a position of terror-- the tomato in the corner.
Will was swaggering through the house last Sunday, pondering lunch, when he opened the refridgerator. Nothing in there but a vegitable; enter our tomato. Dissapointed, Will began to close the door. And then he remembered that tomatos were a key ingredient in a hamburger-- which were, infact, pretty good. He reached for the tomato, and, unsuspectingly, poked it. He felt inside. He felt IT. He screamed and left the house full blast, tossing the tomato behind him carelessly. What did we find when we returned, but a tomato sitting in the corner of our house. And it's been laying there ever since...all of us to aprensive to touch it. And there I suspect it will lay for ever, because, in the words of Issac Newton, "An object at rest will stay at rest unless acted on by a force such as gravity or friction."
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
13 comments:
Thank you!
I just read it again, and I'm wondering, why don't you just pick it up and throw it away?
So the tomato is still there to this very day? I thought that's what the story said. Now I've got curiosity in me!
Hey Limegreen, how bout letting me speak?
1. That tomato will BITE me if I touch it.
2. Actually, on a hot day a week or so ago the tomato melted leaving a red statin and a stem.
LOL Fulton.
Hey how come you deleted the anonymous thing?
What's fine?
Oh wow! So it'll bite you! And it's not there? It's just a big red stain and a stem? Will the stem bite you? If I'm over at your house and I walk by it will it jump out and grab me and swollow it down? Will it kill me? Is your mom upset about the stain? Will the tomato like try to eat me? Do you mind if I don't come to your house anymore?
OOPS! I meant swallow ME down not swallow IT down. Sorry folks. BTW. lots of people have posted on this one!
Don't worry Maddie. Yes, the stem would bite you, but I've put a bookshelf over it. Now, neither you OR my mom have to see it. Or anyone in the world for that matter.
But what if the book shelf gets knocked over? And the stem crawls out and kills me? Do you mind if I just don't come to your house anymore? Would that be a problem? You see, I'm just too scared of that stinking thing!!! Just TOO scared!!! I'm sorry. Maybe YOU could walk by the book shelf and make sure the stem can't knock it down. Then I'll feel safer. Is that ok? Would that be ok?
Who cares about a tomato? Why not throw something grass like brussel sprouts in the corner?
Yeah accept the bookshelf isn't gonna get knocked over.
Obviously you care, Anonymous, or you wouldnt waste your time on this post. Why not throw brussel spouts in the corner? Because, as I said in the post, the ONLY thing in the fridge was a tomato.
Post a Comment