Feeling Spicy

2007-08-12T16:05:00.000-07:00

I chortled silently as I read the last post, afraid that more than a whisper would draw my hawk-like mother's attention; the prospect of her frolicking over to the computer only to discover I was laughing at my own wit was not particularly inviting. I suppose that, reading of my mother's bird-inspired tendencies as you just have, you would guess that I was referring back to the 3rd grade writing example of a simile: "eyes like a hawk." Alas, no, I wish my mother had eyes like a hawk -- it would've prevented that wretched week of grumpiness she experienced roughly 4 months ago whenst trying to accustom herself to contacts. A failed attempt, I might add, and the 5 days in between the Monday that our possibly gay eye doctor prescribed soft contact lenses and the Saturday when she decided they made her eyes too dry and irritating was maybe a week I should've gone camping.

And I hate camping, and I hate tents, and I love s'mores but I could settle for them in my backyard -- so the fact that I considered the sport of living like a caveman is a testimony to the overall enjoyability of that week.

However, the idea of settling down in the prickly underbrush in the sad excuse for a sleeping bag in which father persists in leaving every pair of worn black socks he owns is no less than enticing to my sister ("She-who-must-not-be-named"-- I am a Reader's-Digest savvy anti-phisher and I really couldn't stand to blow my cover). "She-who.." and I had long ago resolved our differences in taste, but in the week surrounding the Perseus meteor showers, I am constantly being bombarded with requests to grace her and my mother with my presence out on the lawn at dusk.

Living in a small town as we do, light rays and pollution make for a suspiciously nonexistent meteor shower -- a fact that is largely responsible for dreadfully frequent trips to the beach, the dessert, the country. Apparently the Perseus in the country is a wildly active event, there being no diesel-guzzling fumes to shower their potent breath throughout the sky or monstrous skyscrapers to flood the world with light. I detect a potential display of the Northern Lights, what with the green sludgy gluck of SUVS and the luminescence of a million 120 watt light bulbs. It's a wonder that Japanese Tourists even bother with expensive trips to Alaska when they could view a mini-production of the Aurora Borealis from my backyard, totally free-of-charge unless they serve me raw egg.

I know I was going to say something about shooting stars, that's why I brought this all up in the first place. That was an awfully long time ago I'm afraid, and since then I've plumb forgot the undoubtedly sly and witty comment I would've made. Ah yes, and as to the deletion of this blog, this is the deal: I'm really dreadfully tired of it, what with its aesthetically criminal layout and blurbs that were funny like two years ago and stuff, but I have a super-soft spot in my heart for killing 40-110 minutes once a month or so online posting something really stupid, and I can't bare to give it up.

So I'm going to create a new blog, and possibly link to this one on it or something. I'm not going to now of course, it would all be too sudden. Sooner or later, though, I expect.

Wow, BTW! I just spell-checked this bugger, and the the numbers have soared surprisingly high since my last post -- 17 misspelled words in these few paragraphs and counting! It's forever calling me on "whenst," but I really just am so attatched to that word, or collection of letters, or whatever it is. Why the heck is it underlining "could've," anyway? Ever heard of a 2-in-1 deal, 'cause Walgreens certainly has! Everyone I know who knows anything about getting pissed off about spam knows the word "phisher," too -- including the ever-reliable Reader's Digest! Really, if we can't trust the magazine just one step down in brilliance from AARP, what in God's name can we trust? Okay, I'll admit that my first attempt of "aesthetically" looked suspiciously like "athletically," but perhaps I was alluding to the sporty symptoms of white on green!

2007-06-14T22:03:00.000-07:00

What a horribly wretched blog this is. I suppose I shall delete it come July. I was full of spunk in the beginning, a bundle of scratchy cleverness and wit. I've stepped out of the blogging scene, returning only to read up on a more successful blog and marvel at the consistency with which my fellow blogger updates us on her projects. If I had a project I would doubtlessly fill you in in an instant- unfortunately, many moons have passed since I retired to my desk and hammered down an assembly of fun wooden decals. Tomorrow is the last day of school, and I am still waiting for a melancholy 8th grade nostalgia to set in. My year book has failed entirely in the respect that I look at it and just wonder how it was possible that LifeTouch screwed over every shining face of my regularly photogenic fellow students. I suppose that year books were originally created to serve as a lovely memento, a bargain at $20 considering the lasting memories it inspires. But every year the yearbook staff does that annoying thing where they cut around the heads of people, I suppose to create more space for other luminescent, spandex-clad beauties, but it really just creates the effect of tackiness, a testimony that my classmates really don't have ears. (This is somewhat random- let me explain. Ears are very tiny creatures, and in pictures are almost impossible to cut around without amputating them altogether. And once you've suggested that someone's ear is maybe only a partial ear, it's better to just slice off the whole thing and have away with it altogether, as it raises the argument that it may just be hiding behind the hair instead of existing as 1/2 ligament.)

There is never any closure to these posts. This is because I usually run out of steam before I've said what I want to say, and "The End," however effective it may be, always suggests that it followed some sort of story.

2007-04-10T18:23:00.000-07:00

I feel like, instead of writing a posts with words and everything, I should snap a photo of something very creative that I made and then upload it with the scanner we don't have onto the computer that would then proceed to post that snapshot on my blog...about four to five years later, depending on how many people before me left their programs running. We have a very slow computer. Sometimes, I hit the butterfly icon even when I have no intention of checking my email for another couple of days. This is only sometimes of course, because generally I have every intention of checking my email before the hour is up.

The only problem with this post-a-craft scheme is that I'm afraid that whatever my selection should be, it would pale in comparison to my fellow bloggers'. Not to say that I am not a competent craftsman, because that would be a disgusting lie. No, I hear that their are craftmice these days. And also craftlogs and craftpiecesofhay. I am forever outdoing a fellow craftpieceofhay in whatever challenge he confronts me with.

If only homemade trash was the hot commidity these days. I am certain I would school any number of my peers when it comes to ripping things up (assuming that the thing in question is easily tearible and requires no upper-arm strength). Just the other day, for example, I tore an important document worth a great deal of money into four thousand tiny shreds (roughly). I really didn't stay to count and confirm that there were four thousand of them because a large hissing snake, such as Lord Voldemort's snake (introduced in #4), was snapping a devilish tongue at me. I suppose the document must have been his, I should say. I should say so.

My Tired Fingers

2007-04-07T20:27:00.000-07:00

My tired fingers feel as though an arabian knight with cruel intentions plucked seven sharpened harpoons from his desk drawer and plunged them deep into the tips of my unexpecting phalanges, or metacarpals, or whatever the scientific term for fingers is. The fact is that I was gong to be clever and use a 'fingers' synonym rather then the word that would've come naturally to a mere human, but my cleverness died off half way through the sentence, and my eyebrows drooped and the corners of my mouth sagged and I was robbed of creativity. I was left with a dull, twelve-year-old-boy-doing-playstation type of a sentence that any parent who knows their place would roll their eyes at. And then do something equally non-productive in the next room over.

2007-03-08T19:05:00.000-08:00

The number of words that have gone unspewed today is dreadful. My brain is overflowing with many colorful and nonsensical arrangements and there is absolutely no one nearby to humor with them. As I debated whether or not I should clean my room and do other weekly chores, or should I just kill time on the computer and feel guilty instead, I happened to chance upon a memory of a blog I once had. Intrigued, I typed what I thought to be the url and once again marveled at the witticisms that had been mine so long ago, that I had neglected to revisit for such a long time.

This reminded me that it had been frighteningly long since I'd created another hideously arranged template, and in doing so wasted several hours of what, in a parallel universe, might have been time well spent on carving a stick or discovering fire. There was no denying that any frivolous room-cleaning should then by postponed, and I should hasten to spend a non-productive evening at the computer becoming pissed off at an increasingly heinous template.

So I poured myself a cup of coffee, dousing it with a round of childish half & half (those who have reached an outstanding level of maturity drink it black, shaking their heads at any sign of cream and dubbing it uncouth). I reached my hand into the expensive tea canister that, after being emptied of all of its former contents, was made instead the dark chocolate treasure container. I supposed that subconsciously I was hoping to restore my pride by popping a 60% cocoa piece instead of the milk chocolate candies with significantly fewer health benefits, after being so childish in my choice of half & half. I have to wonder, is there any hope for a person who drinks drip coffee with such modernized calorie-laden preferences? Or am I wasting my time to think that I can salvage my pride after being so thoroughly proved wrong by my own clever subconscious?

Either way, I have to warn you that after committing yourself to a Dove Dark Chocolate Promise, you truly will not be spared any amount of cheesiness. Some promises leave my inspired, energized, and occasionally teary-eyed, but today's just left me feeling empty. Such as, who was ever suspicious that this promise might be fulfilled? When you find that person, you must send them back to primary school where they learn the basics of colors and counting and drawing pictures and eating crayons or boogers or earwax, but certainly not paste which is the stereotype for what a kindergartner might dare to send down their tiny esophagus.

Oh no. I've gone and crumpled my Dove Promises' wrapper. It held the anecdotal promise with which I would've taken pleasure in regaling to you. Anyway, it said something along the lines of: smile so that someone will be curious of the mischief you may be smiling about." Which sounds an awful like to me of someone who is trying to make themselves appear very mysterious and clever, and perhaps arouse a strangers thoughts of "what on earth of a clever ploy might that maiden have been responsible for?" or "that lusciously gorgeous women has a sly smile on her face like that of the mona lisa, and I am seduced by the sexy mystery of her wickedly clever grin" or "that fox does not chortle aloud easily, and so I must constantly strive to tempt her with half-witted comments that do not come close to surpassing her own."

Okay I have ranted for quite some time now. I may have used every descriptive word I can think of.

Quinn, who was naturally good at basketball

2007-01-11T21:54:00.000-08:00

Quinn was casually shooting hoops in his school gym, swishing every basket but never paying heed to his continous successes. Nor did he think anyone else was paying heed to his continuous successes, quite convinced that he was all alone in the gym be himself. After a particularly tricky shot which, amazingly, hit the target, despite the some 275 feet that rested between Quinn and the basket, Quinn heard a mysterious coughing noise.

He whirled around but saw no one. He whirled around again and saw a tall, handsomely featured man with a business suit and tie and bow tie and ribbon and tux and authentic hawaiin sandals leaning against a wall and watching his every move. Quinn was surprised when he realized that what he had heard was not a cough, but merely the clearing of the man's throat, which was hoarse and phlegmy.

The man approaced Quinn. "You've got a talent, son," he said, grabbing Quinn's poochy cheeks and wringing them awkwardly. "You've made every basket."

Quinn did not aknowledge this compliment, in an effort to maintain modesty. However, it was actually just sort of rude and weird.

The man continued. "I've only watched you for one half of one hour, but I've got a keen eye that can spot talent in a heartbeat. I think you could go national, and then bigger than national."

Quinn raised his eyebrows and feigned surprise- he'd always suspected he could go bigger than national.

"What's more, I don't think you'd even have to practice. You're already so good."

Quinn thought, heck, if I wouldn't have to practice, I should just go for it. So he went for it, and he never ever practiced. Ever. And on the day of the competition, it was just a normal day during which Quinn was a naturally good basketball player. He won the competition against a bunch of people who'd spent forever practicing and was a victorious celebritiy for 4 and one half of one hour.

2006-12-18T17:48:00.000-08:00

Gracious me, I haven't posted in a wildly long time. I guess if you count my last post which is about that I am going to Japan, than it's only been about three weeks. Only that was simply a teaser post that was meant to inform my three religious blog checkers of my good news, except for that two of them already knew. I got out of school last Friday, and I attended a school dance against my will, and apparenltly my will was a thinker when it protested my attending this dance because it was a lousy bomb. I have gone to a dance twice before and I know the nature of these demons, except for that two of my friends didn't and they signed up for one and I really couldn't do any activity independently obviously, so my last resort was to sign up as well. I had no idea that when someone asks you to dance they are expecting to dance the entire song with you, and it was a particularly slow moving dud of a song so I mumbled a silly excuse two and a half minutes in and scored an escape. This scored few points with any of my dance partners which created an "I told you so" moment for my will, who, if you will remember, protested my attending this dance in the first place.
Today I went to a white elephant party, to which I brought three cans of Friskies canned cat food and two lucious blocks of Toblerone. Since I was the first to open a present I was also the last, and just when I thought I was stuck with an attractive husky G.I. Joe character forever I betrayed him and snatched back my cat food and delectable swiss chocolate. It was overall clever thinking on my part and I'd regail you with another one of my numerous accomplishments except for that I am going to go and experience the Thai culture at a local exotic resteraunt.

2006-11-17T18:27:00.000-08:00

I AM GOING TO JAPAN!!!

2006-08-10T14:46:00.000-07:00

I mowed the lawn today for the very first time. And I have to say I love it. We have a cranky lawn mower that you have to jolt into action. You pull this funky lever ten or twenty times and BOOM! You're in business. Only sometimes, after six or seven tugs, it's suspects that I'm trying to rev it up and it rebels. I get into such a pattern, about two or three seconds in between each attempt, that it quickly catches on. I have a feeling that, if the lawnmower were a cat, it would be clenching it's teeth together and maybe it's ears would be flat and unattractive and fierce. And maybe if it were a dog, it would have set it's buttocks on the ground and shifted all it's weight in such a way that it's impossible to budge. Sometimes I have to sneak up on it; like, I'll do nothing at all for four or five seconds, like make it think that I've forgotton all about trying to start the lawn mower today. And then, BAM! I'm at it with all my strength and it never knew what hit it.

Except for that it's hard to sneak up on a lawn mower. And this being my first time, I didn't know the little tricks that veteran mowers learn from experience. Like, it's better to start on a flat surface. Which, I guess, get's the lawn mower in a good mood or something. And also, it better have gas in it because if there isn't then the mower isn't even inclined to start. Little things like this should be looked into when trying to start a lawn mower.

2006-08-03T20:22:00.000-07:00

Coffee and I go way back. I remember fondly the days of italian sodas and cremosas and other naive beverages from the cottage. I would step up to the cashier in wide-eyed sincerity and order a lemon italion soda, or a limi or kiwi if I was feeling particularly spicy, because that was the closest it got to 7up when you lived a soda pop-deprived childhood. On those sweltering 75 degree days of summer, I enjoyed $1 granitas, which consist of fruit juice with added sugar and blended ice, while curiously eyeing my brother's less innocent coffee beverage. That was forbidden for those under ten- the caffine would keep us up til God knows what hour.

I guess my mother and father knew it was bound to happen eventually, but that didn't stop the experience from being excruciatingly painful the first time I asked for my juice glass to be filled with coffee. I crept into the kitchen and grabbed one of the macho 12 oz juice glasses, knowing all the while that when my mother had reluctantly said yes, that it would be okay for me to fill a glass, she had been referring to the tamer 80z variety. Five sips in and the rest was history- I was lost to coffee, the vicious cycle starting right then and there in my own kitchen in my own house, in my own eight year old innocence. The only hope for me would have been to be slowly weened off with church coffee, which isn't really coffee but more like a strong tea. But I'd heard talk of church coffee and steered clear of it- the first sign of coffee snobbery.

Now coffee is a habit, a hobby if you will. I reckon our family gives the cottage more business then the rest of our town put together. I've moved on from drip coffee with cream and sugar, and now experiment with soy and interesting flavors and the dreaded extra shot. I spend twice as much allowance on coffee as I do clothes in a month, and my brother recently counted nearly two hundred dolllars out in change from the year's coffee spendings. Is this right? Are there better things for us to spend our earnings on? Ponder this, and in the meantime, answer this question for a while:

What is the most money you've ever spent on a single beverage and what was it?

2006-07-18T17:38:00.000-07:00

I could really get in to living on my own. I possibly might try it for a living. It's 100% stress free, on account of no one is breathing down your neck to do chores or clean something up or accomplish anything at all. Take yesterday, for example- I spent way more time then anyone ever should on a crossword puzzle, esspeically a puzzle of the "Super Fun 'n Easy" variety. I laid down in the hammok, while simotaneously beginning another crossword, and ate a cliff bar for lunch. Nobody asked "That's all your eating for lunch? There's some vegetables in the fridge. I'm making a salad, and then maybe I'll go work out and lift weights or run 10 miles and then complete an abs routine. Then I'll probably cancel all the sugar and fatty foods from my diet and eat nothing but herbs and ice water. Ice water burns calories, you know." Nobody whined about how there were dishes left out. I hate a mess of dishes as much as the next person- that's why, eventually, I'll get around to cleaning them up. And today? I scattered a mess of song chords all over the floor and left three guitars and a music stand out in the back room. And I STILL haven't cleaned them up! I also cooked shrimp and pasta without anyone reminding me that the shrimp was for spagetti sauce sometime and probably shouldn't have been halfway emptied and then refrozen. Which I did, in fact, and nothing has exploded. And I also emptied some icecream on to a cutting board and made a mess with grahm crackers and chocolate chips and blueberries. It was completely awesome and rewarding, and I'll probably do it again next time. That is, unless mother and father read this post, in which case there probably won't be a next time.

2006-07-17T17:21:00.000-07:00

Today, I swatted a fly that was hovering over our kitchen stove. It flattened and fell into a boiling basin of whole wheat linguine. I fished it out with a wooden spoon and tossed it in the sink. Then I ate the linguine.

2006-07-09T08:23:00.000-07:00

I'm usually pretty okay when it comes to being a planet friendly tree hugging vegetarians. I usually recycle (unless, of coarse, the paper bin is over 20 feet away- I mean, seriously) and I use both sides of my college ruled paper before tossing it, unless I've written with .5 lead, in which case I've pushed so hard that the opposite side of the paper is bumpy and therefore not available for future usage. But there's this new contraption that some other, more dedicated planet friendly tree hugging vegetarian has thought up, that I hate with a blind, vicious fury, comparable to Lord Voldemort after being yet again outsmarted by Harry in number four, or the White Witch spotting Aslan when she was so sure she'd done away with him on the stone table. But in this case, Aslan came in the form of the undoubtedly economical but extremely tedious blow-dry hand-dryers that are rapidly replacing every paper towel dispenser in the country. Now, after a good solid void a thorough hand washing is recommended, which would include lathering up with any variation of a St. Ives soap dispenser and cleansing your hands with lots and lots of water. Which, inevitably, would leave them dripping, begging tearfully for a cozy, dry paper towel of sorts to dry and warm them.

Enter a useless automatic hand dryer. Which leaves them unsatisfied and semi-sticky. And still wet.

And also, these things take a decade or two. Which is great if your a lonely grunting cavemen that has nothing else to do but make rabbit stew and dry his hands. But a happening teen, especially a teen in an airport bathroom five minutes before her plane blasts off really has no time for such nonsense. Especially if this teen is BRUSHING HER TEETH, in which case she is forced to dry her toothbrush under an automatic hand dryer before tossing it in her bag and hot footing it down to C4.

Above is a mugshot I picked up off google images.

Thriller!

2006-06-05T19:11:00.000-07:00

Ever since I saw 13 Going On 30 I have longed to learn the thrilller dance. So I started out by typing "Thriller" into Amazon Music Downloads. And got zero perfect matches, and a whole bunch that weren't related. And then I went to launch.yahoo.com. The video is over thirteen minutes long, and they don't start dancing until eight minutes in. And there's no fasforward button. Then I visited a whole bunch of sites that wanted me to buy the video, which is a terrible deal and I will not shake on it because of it's free at Yahoo. Finally I've found a version that only includes the section of the thirteen minute production where Michael and a few hideous beasts (featuring terribly old-fashioned computer graphics) dance in the graveyard. And, bless my kind heart, I've given you the link. I expect most of you will probably want to learn this dance, too. The first link is for the just-dancing video but if you go to launch.yahoo.com, you can find the entire movie.

http://www.grouper.com/GlobalMedia/MediaDetails.aspx?id=663747&st=0&s=7&q=thriller

6:32

2006-05-26T06:31:00.000-07:00

The fact that I haven't posted since April Somethingth has been weighing heavily on my conscience these last few days. I tried to post yesterday. I really did. Only I got caught up in trying to alter my template, and you know how it is: you spend years deleting and resetting and gong insane and by the time you've given up you're so sick of the computer you're considering going Amish. Atleast, that's the way it was with me.

It's six thirty two a.m. right now. Contrary to public opinion, Veget is not a chipper sparrow in the early hours of the morning, nor is she ever a chipper sparrow. The fact that it is before nine o clock only adds to my dull, lifeles quality at the moment. It's six thirty four, now. It took me two minutes to write like three sentences, and that's typing about sixty words per minute. The receptors in my fingers are currently receiving nada from my brain.

I stared out my window for inspiration a second ago. Artists and musicians are inspired from simple stuffs (the song "Yesterday" came to Paul McCartney in a dream, you know). I only wish everything came to me in a dream; that would be a brilliant excuse to sleep all day.

whats she doing? the lazy bum, she's been sleeping for thirty nine hours!

shhh!!! don't wake her! veget is being creatively inspired right now. she'll wake up and paint the Sistine chapel!

whoever said that is dumb. the chapel has already been dealt with. the only fault in my plan is that people would catch on once i started waking up only to do something uniquely human such as feed the cats or watch tv or something. Then again, type a few random words and throw in sporadic spacing and I could create a beautiful free verse. That might be a better bet because even if no one understands it the majority of the world like to say they do.

Definitely a Smoothie Day

2006-04-28T16:01:00.000-07:00

The outlandish temp today peaked at a marvelous 82 degrees, according to the cottage parking lot. I would know because, having been in the cottage at the time, I had sunk a front row seat, and purchased a decadent wildberry jet tea smoothie. That particular barista was feeling generous at the time (probably delirious from the scorching heat), and I was far from shorted of whipped cream. Whipped cream should be frozen pre-spray like ice cream, therefore scoring casually gourmet appeal.

After returning from the cottage, I was justifiably sweaty and needed to take an icy shower to cool down. Have you ever noticed (I am speaking only to freezing shower veterans- back off you childish amateur) that when you are exposed to freezing water directly to your head that you gasp freakishly? Sort of like a frog who's been dunked unwillingly in a puddle- your eyes pop and you wriggle, possibly omitting an insane hoot from time to time.

I'm feeling sort of wildly wordy right now. Seems as if i'm been squeezing in unnecessary adjectives. They're crowding my sentences and suffocating my nouns, but when I try to delete the poor guys I feel cruel.

2006-04-24T15:07:00.000-07:00

Has it been gorgeous out or what? I for one have been appreciating this weather to the fullest! on sunday, i took a long nap directly in the sun. Of coarse, I woke up with a headache soon after, but it was so dreamily picturesque while it lasted. Today i was crammed into a contaminated desk for 4 hours, but i took a run in the blazing sun when I arrived home to make up for lost time. Still panting, I gazed at myself in the bathroom mirror and tried hard to decide if I was sunburnt. Last August I bought an expensive bottle of aloe vera and haven't had much chance to use it on account of this loathesome forty degree nonsense. As I furrowed my brows at my tomato red cheeks, I decided that under no means would I take any chances; rushing to my closet, I grabbed the aloe and slathered all over my face. And now I smell a little weird.

Lemon Shreds & Coconut Failures

2006-04-16T19:23:00.000-07:00

i haven't posted lately, but not for a lack of things to post about. far from it, in fact. I only post about food and primarily what i've been doing is food. On thursday i made whole wheat cranberry walnut granola bars, and they were delicious. On friday I tried to make them again, only healthier, and it was a flop. The final product resembled a bowl of sweetened oats. I hid them in my room, ashamed. Today I made coconut macaroon bars and lemon squares. The coconut macaroon bars were gorgeous until the recipe (unwisely) told me to spread chocolate chips on top of them. They're completely hideous now, but I can only hope that it's what's inside that counts. The lemon bars required grated lemon peels, which is a pain when your lemon is squishy and your grater dull. I am completely unsatisfied right now, but, luckily, i did enough homework while they were in the oven to have something even more negative to compare it to. And they're seeming might fine.

2006-04-06T15:03:00.000-07:00

Sorry, bloggers. I've been wretchedly out-of-touch. When a gourmet chef, such as myself, gets into one of those zones (you know what i mean- then again, maybe you dont), it's hard for us to concentrate on much else. Suffice to say, I have been making plenty of biscotti, possibly my favorite of which was the cranberry/almond 1/2 whole wheat batch I made yesterday. Today Happy and myself produced delicious double-chocolate chip cookies. Although she might have a significant lack of experience, comparitively (but let's be fair-look who she's up against!), she made an expemplary cooking partner. Her wide smiles and charming wit matched with my staggering talent are explosively succesful in the fieldof gourmet cooking.

Goddess's Lucious Chai

2006-04-03T15:19:00.000-07:00

Goddess suggested a lucious recipe of chai that has me raving. First, you need a box of black spice chai tea bags. Except for only use one of them because otherwise you'd have crazily strong chai, like coffee. Place the tea bag and 8 oz of milk (soy milk, if you have it) in a cup, preferabley your mother's finest china. Nuke it in the microwave for a minute and thirty seconds or so, or until the milk is really hot. Test it with your finger unless it's really really hot, in which case you just hope and prey. Then, add 1/2 teaspoon of brown sugar to the cup and a sprinkling of cinamon and nutmeg. Grab a picturesque cinamon stick and place it at a diagonal in your chai. Grab your mother's finest china plate and unwrap a savory chai tea luna bar, take a picture, and digest.

Biscotti

2006-03-31T15:42:00.000-08:00

So recently I have been whipping up batches of divine biscotti. On Wednesday I produced a fine Chocolate Chip/Almond biscotti, and just yesterday I experimented with Cranberry/Almond. There is a batch of Espresso/Choc Chip cooling right now, and i just nibbled on a bit and it was absolutely disgusting. It was a terrible recipe and I urge you to stear clear of any recipe calling for strong brewed coffee. I added hazelnuts to our shopping list in the hopes that my next batch might be more sucessful. For now I shall fall to my knees and sob in a corner.

SEATTLE!

2006-03-29T17:22:00.000-08:00

Seattle was fabulous. Our hotel, Best Western, was far more glamorous then any other Best Western I've ever seen. There was a doorman who sprang to attention whenever you were within fifteen feet of the door, even if your arms weren't full. Of coarse, he was board as anything and I couldn't blame him for wanting some excitement, even if it did consist of something as pittily as a door. Since we arrived three hours earlier then check-in time, we desperately needed somebody to unload us of our baggage. Not to worry! A cheerful young employee relieved us of our burdens, and informed us he'd bring them up to our rooms. Of coarse, what he didn't inform us of is that we'd be expected to leave him a tip. Which made it sound a lot more appealing to just take up our own bags.

As I mentioned, we arrived three hours early. So we roamed Pikes Market for three hours or so. It was a fabolous experience because of the samples, in particular. I covered a cheese factory, a truffle shop, and lots of little French Bakeries and Starbucks', which are the predominant species in Seattle. I sampled a luscious orange chocolate truffle, except for it wasn't as tacky as orange. No, it was pegged someting sophisticated and charismatic such as, ladamalencias, or the essence of that, anyway. I also stabbed a cheesecurd with a small, menacing harpoon (aka toothpick), and savored it's squeeky crumbles in my pearly whites.

The next day, we rode a fairy to Banbride Island, experienced an Underground Tour, and visited Ye Old Curiousity Shop. Except for what I really just wanted to talk about was the food.

2006-03-22T14:45:00.000-08:00

Are Luna Bars an aquired taste? I didn't think so. I have brought one to lunch every day for about two weeks. Kids peer sadly down at their greasy dominoes pizza and snapple and gaze longingly at my own delectable entre. I shrug my shoulders and raise my eyebrows at them in an, "oh-well, that's-just-the-way-it-is" manner," and then proceed to carefully unwrap my succulent luncheon. However, last Tuesday Happy unwrapped a Chocolate Peppermint Stick and wrinkled her nose disgustedly. Just minutes ago, I unwrapped a Chai Tea (my own personal favorite) for her, and after three bites she set it down. Now, I had only just poured myself a bowl of granola with quaker oats when I realized there was no milk, and was already suffering my own tradgedy. Happy, looking doubtfully at snack, offered it to me saying, "I don't like it, but I don't want to waste it." The prospect of cereal having been dashed, I accepted her offering, therebye lifting a great load off her chest. I am such a mench.

2006-03-21T19:14:00.000-08:00

if i could delete all these dumb posts i would i'd like to just start over. unfortuantely i'm going to go watch a movie now (good night and good luck) and i decided to write the review after i've seen it this time so sit tight.

the succesful persuit of happiness (part 1)

2006-03-14T16:28:00.000-08:00

what a fantastic day...*sighs dreamily. eyelids flutter seductively.* i traipsed into the library, unaware of the good fortune soon to rain down apon my unsuspecting noggin. as i made my way over to the rack of used magazines, i said a little prayer: lord, please let there be a recent readers digest, perhaps with a gripping headline such as '100 ways to fight influenza'. please let there be a prevention previously unseen by mortal eyes, preferabley with a laughing, fit model in a chic ensamble. this is all i ask of you (except for this last bit is sung in a manly tenor as it is in the phantom of the opera). imagine my astonishment as my eyes snapped open to behold a pack of 10 or so old readers digests, and TWO recent prevention magazines with TWO laughing models in ONE chic ensamble! not the same chic ensamble, you sick minded villian!there was just this one model who was dressed without thought or style. But i quickly forgave her for choosing all-white when i spotted 'skincare treatments' in the lower left hand corner. and here's the kicker of the whole shebang: i snagged the whole shinanagag for fourty-five cents, a sensational deal! i am decent enough to wait atleast four to five days before i begin to butcher these magazines, but after that, they're history. i will artiscially create nosensical but undoubtebly inspirational collages and paste them to my wall along with my shiny golden medallion (aka cheep green ribbon) which, as you all know, reperesents supreme genious and unceasing strength and courage.

when a cliff bar just won't cut it...

2006-03-07T19:52:00.000-08:00

Cliff Bars are for husky thirty-four year old male mountain climbers, and not at all suitable for your average gorgeous jc penny model such as myself. No, a champion bibble quizzer and guitar virtuoso deserves the whole nutrition only the company that makes cliff bars can deliver. Luna Bars balance me hormonaly, and urge me into striking positions such as lady on the logo (she's the one dancing in front of the moon). Although I couldn't make it to the moon in time, I did give the twinkling Venus a visit just yesterday and i practiced the bloated lizzard and the pouncing cougar and nuked whole soy milk in the microwave. My eyes flutter in an aroused sleeping-beauty like manner, almost as if my darling prince had laid a sweeping kiss apon my rosebud lips. But not quite. The goddess athena has granted me the oppurtunity to try carmel nut brownie, nutz over chocolate, and something else i can't remember, and on friday i shall flap my muscular wings and raid the traider joes stock of whole nutrition bars for women.

of the week

2006-02-23T19:32:00.000-08:00

joke of the week is selected by randomly choosing a page in "the 901 best jokes there ever was" book so yeah it's not my fault if they suck and go get mad somewhere else.

song of the week: posters- jacky j

food of the week: licorice jelly bean

drink of the week: hot chocolate chai

song veggie's learning on guitar of the week: lancelot- dave carter

joke of the week: wait...the first one i saw was dirty...let me look again...these do not make any sense..."i can pick a face out of a crowd just like that!" "so why did you pick that one?"

rude offensive and witless. score three.

poem of the week: 'sneaky sue' by jack perlutsky

book of the week: 'why friends are friends' by jack willcuts. SCREAM!

i'm done. bovver.

junor high jamboree

2006-02-23T19:22:00.000-08:00

hoh geez i wish i was still at junior high jam. i miss the grumpy cafeteria lady who yelled at me for getting hot cocoa after breakfast. and i miss the stinky girl's bathroom and room 201. that wasn't the room we were in i just miss it. and plus i miss room 202 with the rotting chocolate cake on the windowsill. and i miss our feeble attempts to air out that place. and i miss british bulldog and almost getting my pants pulled down cause i didn't have a belt on. only not that much. plus also i miss setting up for lunch and putting two mayonaises on the same table.

sigh.

movie reviews: elizabeth town

2006-02-10T17:59:00.000-08:00

a fantastic film concerning the meaning of 'making do with what you have' and different family beliefs clashing together unexpectedly making for a rioutous result. kirsten dunst plays a spunky, quick-witted character, who is secretly in love with orlando, a boxer-clad tortured artist with a distinctice jaw line going for him. the basic outline is that orlando wants to go to greece to take art lessons and kirsten thinks it's a complete waste of money. growing up, kirsten's family had always been penny-pinchers, wheras orlando grew up in ritzy LA, where risking outragous sums in casinos and bars was a daily activity. the only stink was when kirsten...

ok nevermind i have to eat supper. i haven't seen the film yet, btw.

experiments

2006-02-06T16:42:00.000-08:00

superbowl sunday. a perfect day to avoid the tv and bake up a storm while keeping an ear perked for the score. which is what chat and i did. while other less advanced lifeforms flopped themselves in front of the 45 inch plasma, chat and i experimented. MEANING WE MADE UP OUR VERY OWN COOKIE RECIPE.

we weren't even sorta going off a recipe, sorta not. we weren't even looking. betty crocker missed chat and i that day, as we rifled through her cupoard and pulled out APROXIMATELY the following:

a stick of butter
some white sugar
some brown sugar
some vanilla
some salt
some flour
some oats
some chocolate chips
some melted truffles
some dark chocolate cocoa powder
some baking soda
some baking powder

and some other stuff, and mixed it all up. then we cooked it in the oven on 350 for 8 minutes and 30 seconds, except for that one time where we forgot they were in there and so while they wore out there welcomes in that sizzling furnace we ate sunchips and watched arrested development.

good luck making those cookies, all! they're called stealers, btw, in support of the winning team.

guurown.

2006-01-31T13:30:00.000-08:00

i rolled my eyes in fury when i glanced at our spice rack. for one thing, the butter seasoning (used to produce utterly delicious corn pop) is sitting right by the rosemarry, which is tacky of it. i don't know what fred meyers was even thinking, but it was a dumb think, when they colored the plastic container yellow. like as if they didn't know that it would go next to the rosemerry. cause excuse me but the rosemerry is in a glass antique vase which gives the entire kitchen a rustic down home feel which is completely DESTROYED by the shabby shoddy presence of that PLASTIC WHATCHAMUCOLIT THAT HOSTS OUR BUTTER SEASONING USED TO PRODCUE UTTERLY DELICIOUS CORN POP!

quiz: are you hyper, lazy, or both?

2006-01-27T15:32:00.000-08:00

answer a, b, or c for the following questions.

your alarm clock goes off at 3:30 am, two hours early! you...
a) freak out
b) nod off
c) freak out, then nod off.

you drop your cereal bowl by accident and it smashes to the floor into a thosand pieces. you...
a) freak out
b) nod off
c) freak out, then nod off.

you prance outdoors to find that, in the middle of the night, someone stole the reverent old maple that loomed forbodingly over your house on particulary dark and stormy nights. you...
a) freak out
b) nod off
c) freak out, then nod off.

you arrive at school only to find that a arsonist exploded your school long after visiting hours were over. you...
a)freak out
b)nod off
c)freak out, then nod off.

you dash to the local hardware store for some glue and nails to piece your school back together, only to find that, in the middle of the night, long after it was acceptible to explode things, a 747 smashed into the hardware store and upset the nail display. you...
a) freak out
b) nod off
c) freak out, then nod off.

you bewilderdly stumble through town only to find that a mediorite crashed through town smooshing everyone else and narrowly missing you by inches in the middle of the night. you...
a) freak out
b) nod off
c) freak out, then nod off

mostly a's

you're a wild hyper crazy freak and you need to learn to settle down. try yoga or some breathing excercises once or twice a day, and take baths in lavender syrup and mock-oatmeal flakes.

mostly b's

you're a lazy bum and you watch football. try a quad shot cappichino to kick off your day, or, if you'd like a more disgusting approach, drink some red bull.

mostly c's
order a quad shot cappichino and then take a lavender bath.

2006-01-25T09:05:00.000-08:00

Topic Sentence: The Cottage is refreshing in the morning.

Supporting Facts:

There aren't as many people
The regular cottage-blend coffee is fresh

Paragraph 1: Because it was early (8:00 a.m.), it was understandable that there weren't hardly any people. I admit, I felt a little out of place, being the only ___ year old, sweaty and red-faced, and wearing kinda cruddy looking sweat pants and a sweatshirt, but I got over myself. I had Leslie's and my notebook with me, and it was so much easier to write when there wasn't music playing or a ton of people chattering or baby's screaming or buildings exploding.

Paragraph 2: Ok, I don't know zactly how long I can talk about fresh coffee, but I'll shoot for roughly 69 words.

I would like to begin by saying that cottage has a fantastic taste for coffee. that should be a given (that coffee shops have a nice coffee taste, i mean), but it's NOT. STARBUCKS tastes a little watery, sometimes. sometimes always. Cottage, on the other hand, which is NOT a billion dollar business, makes a strong, but not TOO strong, perfectly ballanced mixture of water and finely ground bean.

FRIK! that's 68.

There is no paragraph 3. Now I'm just going to talk.

So anyway, this was supposed to be sort of a mind-clearing excersize, and it was in a way. The thing is, I have so much trouble with clearing my thoughts. Which was kind of why silent meeting was unsuccesful for me. If God was telling me something, I guess she was probably whispering whereas any other thing i might have thought was screaming in comparison. So I still need to work on that.

See what kind of things evolve when you skip a day of school?

between two and three, dang it.

2006-01-24T16:39:00.000-08:00

dang it. i'm in between two and three. three feels a little tight and two feels a little lose. they practically slide the whole entire way down on two. and on three it isn't, like, WOW THAT'S REALLY SQUEEZED but not like WOW THAT'S REALLY NOT SQUEEZED, either. so you see where i'm stuck here? i'm thinking of just punching in another hole, but i'm afraid that at some inoppurtune moment they're gonna break and i'll have to use a peice of string.

oh yeah i was talking about my belt, by the way.

and plus, guitar for dummies, which i picked up from the library, turned out to be a hugo dissapointment. like, first of all, it requires reading NOTES. which i can't do. and then plus the chords they taught were ones that i (ever the chord-savvy musician) already knew! plus, to top it all off, put the icing on the cake, and be the last straw ALL AT ONCE the whole entire stupid book was for ELECTTIC guitar. and never once anywhere did it mention that little detail. some clueless doof would havd taken the ELECTRIC GUTAIR on the cover of the book for a sign. but i knew better. i knew better then to actually READ THE REVIEWS before i requested it. glance offhandedly at the cover. or the inside cover. or the first or second page.

so now i just have a DVD of guitar for dummies. then again, the guy on the cover had an inviting aura and a warm smile, so i should be in pretty good shape.

how bout them seahawks

2006-01-23T19:57:00.000-08:00

so what happened yesterday, anyway? at school, everyone was trudging around muttering 'how bout them seahawks', grunting and gaffawing stupidly. i mean, yeah! my thought's exactly! what about the seahawks?

now i admit, my eyes weren't glued to the screen, like, 24/7. ok, so, i wasn't in the tv room. ok, i don't think the tv was even on. but anyway, i coudln't exactly follow what was going on. like, the score for one thing? refresh my memory?

now, you would think it'd be simple easy to tell what happened just by the looksa things. not true! i mean, yeah, they either won or they lost. the question is, which was it? i mean, everyone says the same thing either way. it's either, 'huh, huh, how bout them seahawks?", or "ha, ha, how bout them seahawks?"

'huh' and 'ha'. don't even think i didin't try. it's all a matter of where you put the emphasis. like, if they said, hhhhhhhuh, forcefully, with much emphasis on the 'h', not only would it sound trollish, but also like they were trying to take a dump. and if they said, haaaaaaaaaa!, it would sound victorious, like maybe they'd won at fooseball after being continually pummled with harsh, discouring words, or maybe when your mom says ah there's no toothpaste left and you smirk wisely and squeeze and squeeze and squeeze and a drop comes out. like that.

ok, so decide for yourself. whether they won or not it doesn't really matter cause i wasn't there to see it.

sigh...

2006-01-21T22:00:00.000-08:00

ahh....i can breath! i'm finished, and here is the final product:

ok now you're gonna have to scroll around.

it's 10:01 pm, i just got back from the first quiz meet. i've gotten over the initial dissapointment of NOT having made it into the top eight, and i'm in a semi-optimistic mood. i've completed 'hallelujah' on my guitar, and i was thinking of moving on to 'i will follow you into the dark' by death cab for cutie. except for that i can't find the chords anywhere. so if anyone has a handy site that basically dolls out death cab lyrics, i'd like the web address. 'guitar for dummies' (both the book and the video recording) are waiting for me at the library, and i'm excited to see if i'll be able to understand any of it. if i can, it'll be a first.

good night. it's 10:04 and i'm beginning to droop. i've sank a few inches from the perky stance i started off in.

tRANSFORMATIONS...

2006-01-17T21:35:00.000-08:00

sorry this blog'll look like crap til i fix it.

hard to read...

2006-01-12T14:09:00.000-08:00

yes, i know this is hard to read. but i love it anyway. it's weird, the backround is a comic in spanish. and then it's just some patterned paper i found on google. anyway, i'm about ready to start up blogging again. i know i know we've tried this over and over but this time i'm really, really ready to start again. and if you couldn't read this, here you go:

start blogging!

Questiono of the Dayo

2005-12-13T19:42:00.000-08:00

(hey if you were wondering, that title is written in Italian. Betcha didn't know I can speak Italian. Nothing to it, really. I won't lie to you. Just add an 'o' on the end of every word, or basically when you think it needs it, and your BIG LIE might convince some people.)

Ok, here it is:

What do you do when you get really, really, really, super duper mad?

Cause when you're not THAT mad, but you still might be trying to impress someone, you come up with some witty comeback, undoubtedly long after the recipient has gone on their merry way.

And when you're not mad at all, but you'd like a little bit of sympathy, you probably stick out your lower lip and pout (flirtatiously, if there's a guy around).

And when there's really nothing wrong, hey, don't say there is. BECAUSE THAN I THINK YOU'RE A GROUCH.

But seriously, I know harm and chit and have fun and limes and fmg don't do most of that stuff. I just wanted to add a little to this post so it's not just one of those seriously lame question of the days that are just basically saying, hey I'll just ask a simple question and you'll kill yourself over coming up with a satisfying reply.

-annonymous.

Ok, i take it back. Not annoymous. Seriously, I have fed-exed that one.

In all actuality, actually...

2005-12-11T16:34:00.000-08:00

You know how when you really super don't want one thing to happen, it does like two seconds after you were just thinking, "hey I hope this doesn't happen. That would suck!" ? Like when you've got two sheep and a two-for-one port, and you need to buy a city and so you use the two sheep to get a wheat and not an oar, and then on the next roll someone rolls a TWELVE and that's what you had your wheat on and than you're like oh curses I should have gotten an oar? Like that? Or when you kind of jokingly think whoa it's two degrees outside and I'm walkin' home from the library so wouldn't that be the stupidest thing ever if the train that passes through here once a year came TODAY while I'm walkin home from this library and held me up? And then the train doesn't come? Yeah, so not like that.

Well, I was jus thinkin, I think actually that kinda stuff doesn't actually happen as often as we always make it out to be. Actually, in all actuality, it would actually be more like since we always THINK it would happen and so on the rare occasion where it actually does we're just like, "Oh well that's just typical." And then when it doesn't happen we never think anymore about it because what would there be to remind us that earlier we thought oh bet that'll happen? NOTHING!

CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS

2005-11-27T19:14:00.000-08:00

This week is the first week of Christmas-ness. Last week was the last week of the fall holidays- Halloween & Thanksgiving.

This means that you must do everything in your power to insure that you are being
Christmas-y. That includes lighting candles, singing carols, and, if necessary, decorating your house with cheap mult-colored lights and gaudy blow-up yard space-fillers of Rudolph and Santa. (Although in my family's case we don't have to cos the lady down the street has taken care of that for the entire court.)

There is also the well-known traditon of POSTING A LOT OF BLOGS. That means you ALL MUST POST A LOT. FMG, do you realize that the last blog you posted was in AUGUST? YES YOU PROBABLY DO BUT THE 'DO YOU REALIZE' PART WAS FOR DRAMATICAL EFFECT.

Everyone else- in a month you could be as far back as FMG. With that in mind, get to it!

Redecorating

2005-11-26T23:02:00.000-08:00

This blog has a new look. I know, I know, it's not one of my best. But hey, I was pressed for time; it's 11:03 in the p.m., and Fult has no luck and wants to go to bed. So she just throws on the first (ok, like, fifty millionth. I'm picky even when I'm tired) thing she sees and republishes. But now she really, really, wants to go to bed. So she's gonna stop being picky for the night and go hit the sack.

After she talks about ziplock bags, that is.

She was fixing herself a high-cal mal-nutritious snack, and the cheese was a brand new block. Fult was the first to open it, meaning her portion of cheese would be a little bit slippery and plastic and wrinkled on one end. But no matter. Fult cuts of a generous slice and opens the middle droor to grab a ziplock bag.

Enter the ziplock bag.

There are two sizes for ziplock bags. Small and big. So, not sensing a problem, Fult grabs for the small bag and...

UH OH!!!

THIS FRESH BLOCK OF CHEESE IS TOO...FRIKIN'....BIG FOR THE SMALL ZIPLOCK BAG.

So Fult cheerily finds the larger size and drops the block of cheese into it...And never hears it land.

You see, there's a small and big size of ziplocks, but no medium. So if you were going to package a, say, fresh block of cheese, you would be in deep yougurt. Cause when you're dealing with ziplock bags, one size doesn't fit all.

Fult will now go to bed now that she's got that load of her chest (wipes the cold sweat off her brow).

Night.

the tomato in the corner (i've dissapointed you all...)

2005-11-05T17:14:00.000-08:00

locate archives. click april. scroll to 'the tomato in the corner.'

"In an acute and seemingly irrelevant corner in my house..."

WHAT WAS I THINKING????!!!!

corners are not acute.

"Nothing in there but a vegitable..."

fulton creek cannot spell 'vegitable'.

"all of us to aprensive to touch it..."

no one is, and will ever be, aprensive . however, one might dare to be apprehensive.

i can't feel my ears.

2005-11-04T12:21:00.000-08:00

actually, that was a bit of a clever joke, that title was, because I can. But my ears can't feel me!!! I touched them and got, like, zero responce. They were either ignoring me or they're as flipping cold as I am.

you guys, we are slackers. none of us has updated our blogs in like the past three years. and i'm thinking maybe we need to renew our card. which was a clever and metaphorical little catchphrase that i just came up with for saying "HURRY UP AND POST SOMETHING SOMEONE BUT NAMING NO ONE IN PARTICULAR HARM CHAT FMG HAVE FUN AND LIMES!"

Question of the Day

2005-10-21T07:13:00.000-07:00

Why is it that the people who's normal language is english and they just learnernd spanish only speak it to people who don't and we can't understand them anyway and it just gets on their nerves and then when they're around someone who does speak spanish they're all, oh, i don't know very much. HELLO?! WHAT HAVE I BEEN HEARING FOR THE LAST DECADE???

Converstation-Stoppers 101

2005-10-16T17:25:00.000-07:00

These clever anecdotes are sure to get the, uh, whatever, response from every bratty snoothead you ever meet! ever!

The world's oldest active parliamentary body is the Icelandic Althing which met first before the year 1000.

The targets in both skeet and trap shooting, commonly called clay pigeons, are actually made from tar and pitch.

America's only statue of Charles Dickens graces Clark Park in Philadelphia, just off the University of Pennsylvania campus.

It takes a week to make a jelly bean.

The University of Texas system is the third-largest landowner in the United States.

When wearing a Kimono Japanese women wear socks called "Tabi". The big toe of the sock is separated from the rest of the toes, like a thumb from a mitten.

Quote of the Day

2005-09-30T14:12:00.000-07:00

Why don't they call carbonated bubble-nated?

-Jake

Stickyish.

2005-09-30T12:15:00.000-07:00

The weather was so gross today everybody! it was like rainy and foggy and humid! sick! mother and i walked to school around the time the humidness was at it's grossest. wooo eeee! i felt that sticky stuff all over me all day! anyway, i very much would've have liked to hop home and climb in the shower, except for these weird gas checkers are comming to visit our furnace and there's this company policy where no one can be hot and sticky and then get in the shower while they're working there. that's not true. actually there isn't supposed to be a minor with out a major at home while they're there so i have to go with mom to pick up my fellow minor. and then i'm gonna take a shower. and read a book.

Technical & Ariel

2005-09-28T12:51:00.000-07:00

That old font was hard to read. That's why I changed it. Does everybody have the font "technical" on their computer? Cause that's the one I used and I don't want you to be seeing "ariel" on your stupid mac (sorry harm i know you like macs) while my other PC priviledged viewers our gazing in ecstasy at my astehically pleasing decorating skills.

Wednesday is one of my favorites! That's on account of quizzing and YG and voice lessons. i'm going to let you in on a secret: i didn't practice very much this week. but i'm going to practice today.

AND EVERYONE ELSE BETTER TOO, NAMING NO ONE IN PARTICULAR FMG HARM AND CHATTERY!

But don't get too excited because i can't do that all right now. in fact, right now i should be doing homework. but then i had this huge contemplation over life and then i'm like, nah, i'm gonna go get on the internet.

and then i had another one and now i'm like, nah, i should go finish my homework.

-anonymous

What a Next Blog Said

2005-09-20T06:54:00.002-07:00

As I was merrily next-blogging along, i encountered a site reading the words "i write, therefore i blog." I TOTTALY COMPLETELY ABSOLUTELY disagreed with her. "No!" I cried!

This is because we are all writers, and our little blogging group hasn't seen something posted since august somethingth, which is practically the stone ages!!!

(there was an age called the stone age, right bec?)

What a Next Blog Said

2005-09-20T06:54:00.001-07:00

What a Next Blog Said

2005-09-20T06:54:00.000-07:00

2005-09-04T17:09:00.000-07:00

I updated my blog today because of the fact of it being a whole new school year and all. The biggest reason I love the start of September is because of the colors. No, that's not original. Everyone loves Autumn leaves. Me too. Anyway, I deleted a couple of the posts I was sick of seeing, like the one about Bi-Mart. Infact, I think we were all sick of seeing that. Happy new school year, everybody! You better be psyched. I'm psyched.

Yearly Meeting

2005-07-31T20:44:00.000-07:00

I can't even explain my experience at Yearly Meeting- I know the rundown I gave my family when I got home didn't cover half of the week. Or a fourth of what i learned about Quakerism. So I guess FMG and Harm'll just have to come next year.
Oh hear comes the exciting part...
signed,
the 2006 JUNIOR HIGH ASSITANT CLERK.

Wonder of the Worlds- Answered!

2005-07-30T13:02:00.000-07:00

Why do old ladies wear gloves to tea parties?

A long time ago, when they had not yet invented stoves, they had to heat up water by putting the cup of water out in the sun. Unfortunately, this made the cup all hot. So they wore gloves like we wear oven mits. And who wants to wear oven mits to a tea party?

From a Wise Old Man...

2005-07-18T14:35:00.000-07:00

Along with our quote of the day: "I made it clear to the world that either you're with us or you're with the enemy.
-President George W. Bush

Birthday Alarm

2005-07-17T19:23:00.000-07:00

Last year, I started getting those 'Birthday Alarm' e-mails in my inbox. For those conservative consumers who haven't yet heard, 'Birthday Alarm' "sets FREE reminders so that you never forget a birthday again!" However, although the concept of Birthday Alarm is all well and good, the details have faults. In this case, the small print isn't even printed.

To begin with, here's a little backround information: Birthday Alarm is a service that, with your permission, sends an e-mail to everybody in your address book that requests all this personal information, including your year, month, and day of birth. Then, on that special day, an e-mail is sent to you reminding you it is your friend's b-day.

The problem is, the e-mail is sent on the birthday. Which gives you about enough time to send a belated birthday card and apologize. If this free service is truly for the greater good of American Citizens, wouldn't it make more sense to send the e-mail three days in advance?

An appreciative friend is going to make you feel a little guilty when he/she thanks you for remembering his/her special day. There's a little George Washington in everyone, so what exactly can you say? "Oh, I didn't remember, an automatic internet service sent me an e-mail to remind me." Half the point of a b-day card is to show a friend that you were thinking of them. "Actually, I wasn't thinking of you until I checked my e-mail." Smooth.

I was a late riser. I didn't come along until the early 1990s, which means I'm too young to use Birthday Alarm. So far as I know, I can ask it to send the e-mail, but when it's sent to me I can either screw it and be forgotten on my special day, or lie and say I was born somewhere in the 1980s. Which upsets Washington.

So far as I know, we all got along fine before Birthday Alarm came along. Close friends don't even send birthday cards. That's something relitives in Ohio do. And they never remember anyway.

Spiiiiral.

2005-06-27T14:38:00.000-07:00

This is like a trick picture, or abstract art or something. It's weird, because you think you see a spiral, but it's not really there.

This isn't the only new post, so scroll down when you're done.

2005-06-27T14:07:00.000-07:00

I know that you, like me, have probably been told that your belly button is a scar from your umbilical cord. This is because text books like to invent complicated excuses.

But there's a problem with that excuse. That totally does not explain innies and outies and
inbetweenies. I mean, a cord can't just pop out or sneak half way before it gets cut. Why? Because that would be CHEATING, that's why. He'd have some kinda head start.

Well, it's about time you knew the truth. Your belly button is used for storing things in. Have you noticed that it's the zact same size as chocolate chips and pony beads and tomato seeds? Did you think that was a coincidence?

It's just too unlikely that all those things could conceivably fit in there coincidentally. I dunno about you, but my belly button's big and deep, and perfect for lotion or erasers, or maybe spare change. Well, a quarter couldn't fit in there, but maybe a dime or a Canadian penny.

POP QUIZ! POP QUIZ! POP QUIZ! POP QUIZ!

(Ha! I caught you unawares.)

You're walking along the street and you have no purse on you. You happen to spot a million dollar nickel! But remember, you have no purse. Your fingers would make smudge marks. What do you do?

A) Sigh and put it back down.
B) Carry it then promise yourself to wash it off as soon as you get home.
C) SLIP IT IN TO YOUR BELLY BUTTON FOR LATER!!! (DING DING DING! :) )

Now take a stab. I won't tell you, or even give a hint as to which one.

Mostly As:

You give up too easily and throw away your money. You lack thriftiness and creativity.

Mostly Bs:

You don't consider the possibilities before you act. Notice that if if you were to wash it off, you would wash off the worth as well. You lack reason and intelligence (hmm..sorry about that).

Mostly Cs:

Congradulations! You are a hard worker and a fair player! You are generous, kind, and you have tremendous faith in others. You are beautiful and understanding, and are thoughtful and courageous.

How'd you do? When you add up your scores, try to build off of your weaknesses. Except, of coarse, if you had mostly Cs, in which case you lack nothing and have everything.

Abrv.

2005-06-20T20:25:00.000-07:00

bf was originally boy friend, not best friend.

Think of all the abbrivations people us as an escape route from having to write out the whole entire word. We have to consider two things: 1. How much time is it really saving us? And, 2. Does the abbrivation make sense? If so, wat exactly does it stand for?

There are common abbriviations, like 'LOL (Laughing out loud, lots of love, or lugging old luggage), JK (Just kidding, Joanne Kathleen- as in Rowling- and Jelly Krunchie), and ptdcgbiwtmiwmmp (pass that delicious chicken gravy because I want to mix it with my mashed potatoes, and please Terry, don't create goofy behavior in windy temperatures, making it way more muddy possibly).

We also have to take into consideration if it actually stands for what it says it does. I know for an almost fact that M.D. stands for 'Making Dinner' and P.S. stands for 'Please Stand'. B.F. stands for 'Baked Fruit' and CIA stands for 'Causing Ignorant Actions'. USA stands for 'Untitled Scanned Attatchment' and FBI stads for 'Flippin' Bad Itch.'

These abreviations can still be used liberally, but be careful not to mix them up. For example, do not proclaim you are a faithful citizen of the Untitled Scanned Attatchment, or that you totally made out with your Baked Fruit. That your name is Jane Smith, Making Dinner, or that you are a proud member of the Flippin' Bad Itch.

And for goodness sake, don't close with:

Please Stand: Write back!

2005-06-17T14:29:00.000-07:00

Who was it that punched the hole through my favorite C.D.?

Who, infact, punched the holes through my whole impressive stack of 49?

Because I don't appreciate it.

It's not that they don't play nicely anymore- they do. It's that I can't seem to find a whole puncher that big. And if you're going to damage someone else's property, you could atleast have the courtesy to inform me of the tool used to do so. But I s'pose courtesy wasn't the first thing on your mind when you turned my collection into a herd of doughnuts.

A Responce to your Feedback.

2005-06-17T14:23:00.000-07:00

Song and Story Fest is fun.

Monkies and penguins are cute.

So are Panther and Cuddles.

Suggestions

2005-06-14T16:44:00.000-07:00

What should I write about?
Remeber that time when...??? Come one, come all! I am open to suggestions.

Don't pass this up because it's LONG, silly goose! It's important!

2005-06-07T19:25:00.000-07:00

Today I noticed tiny footprints skitter skattered all over my yard. As they weren't in a line, I was puzzled. There was one over by the window, one by the strawberry patch, and one tucked into the folds of the hammock. Not only did it appear that this mysterious creature could fly, but also that he knew how to tuck footprints.

I sat on the rocking chair by the glass sliding door ( the one with the mark that I didn't wipe off when I had the spray and towel handy cause I thought the mark could've been fish spit which would have been DISGUSTING), and confused myself for a while. I saw nothing of interest; a tree, a plant, a grass or two, some chairs, a flying squirrel- holy goodness gracious! A flying squirrel!- and a duck.

Now what creature could be leaving those marks? Asked me to myself. I decided I'd wait up all night 'til I seed what animal could've been traipsing through the yard.

It worked. That night, as I lay halfish asleep in my rocking chair by the glass sliding door (the one with the mark that I didn't wipe off when I had the spray and towel handy cause I thought the mark could've been fish spit which would have been DISGUSTING), I spotted something moving. There was a tree, a plant, a grass or two, some chairs, and- holy goodness gracious! A flying squirrel was flying through my yard at break-neck speed and I hadn't noticed it before!!! This has got to be the most obvious thing in the world, and as obvious, if not more obvious, than that obvious duck obviously waddling through my yard (and really obviously!). Actually, the flying squirrel picked him up by the scruff of his neck and set him in random places. I figured that was where the prints were coming from, and the fact that the squirrel was carrying him around the yard was the reason for no pattern in the footprints.

2005-06-01T06:59:00.000-07:00

This morning, I awoke to the beautiful endless songs of praise from the blue birds that sing outside my window. They crowd around in a flock, as I spring out of bed, throw on my nightgown, and fling handfuls of birdseed out my window. This all happens as cheesy insperational music can be heard from all around me.
I dash into the kitchen,where a bowl of cereal and milk is awaiting me on the counter. A spoon lays beside it, and as I sit down, a blue bird flys down and spreads a napkin on my lap to express his gratitude for the birdseed. Another comes flying in, but this time with almonds and strawberries, which he sprinkles over my cereal, kisses me on the head, and flys away.

Nevermind.

2005-05-31T16:37:00.000-07:00

I wan't to warn you to spice your blog up. This is because, as I impatiently clicked "next blog" for about five minutes, trying to find a mildly interesting one, I'm certain I judged every...single...one by glancing at the regular stuff; the font, template, etc. If yours isn't set aside from all the rest you see, it will become another helpless brick in ones journey to reach an interesting.
Yes, it's that important.
BTW, that last line was off the AI steak sauce bottle. Did you recognize it?

Today's Mouse Joke:

2005-05-30T09:42:00.000-07:00

What's a variety of colors and appears in the sky?

A tie-dyed mouse flying.

2005-05-27T06:47:00.000-07:00

I have come to the conclusion that the "random questions" are not to be answered plainly, but to be outsmarted by a wise and sarcastic witticism. Looking at other random people's blogs, I've realized that it's true for all.

Summer

2005-05-22T14:08:00.000-07:00

I realize everything I've been posting has been pretty much trash for a while. Nothing's been real, served any meaning or purpose. This, though, is 100% true (probably why most of it'll be quite the nap).

The highlights and lowlights of the future happenings in the summer of 2005:

There are seventeen days left of school as of May 22nd.

After the BBQ, YG is at Chapters...Correct me if I'm on, ye with more info. We lost the calender two hours after I recieved it.

In the two hours I had to examine the YG calendar, I noticed all these cool plans; like the beach with the outlet malls (which I am missing; &$%#@!) & Wild Waves (Which I am not).

And Tween Camp (which I am missing).

Because I'm going to be at an AWESOME camp on a farm in Indianna.

Where they do not spray their mosquitos.

Lime's b-day! What should I get her? E-mail me. Lime is a regular blogger and will no doubt spot any b-day ideas posted.

Mom's b-day. I doubt any of you have ideas as to her gift. I'm thinking Settler's of Catan. Has anyone an idea where to find it?

I'm off to Ohio, ironically scheduled on the same day as the outlet malls & beach (&%$#@!)

Softball season has started...sort of. We've had a total of five practices. Every game scheuled has been canceled.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince is out July 16th.

My B-day (Harmony, will you be here?)

Off to Michigan for a week.

Wild Waves

September: Back to the #$!% house.

Please, this very second, post your summer on your blogs!

2005-05-19T19:41:00.000-07:00

I am wondering why we only got one mail today.

And whoever was going to send something and didn't has really got some nerve. Because I really would've liked to recieve that mail. And I didn't. Yesterday I got four or five or six mails. So did the senders take some kind of break today? Because I don't appreciate their break. If that was the case. They might not appreciate the fact that I told them no. Yes, I've told many people no before. And if they were the senders, I'd really like to take it back. Or maybe I called a sender a snob. Or a snoot. Or a sniffle. Because I can certainly see why that would keep them from sending me a mail. I wouldn't send a mail to someone who called me a sniffle. That doesn't even make any sense. Whoever thought of calling someone a sniffle? I didn't think of that. Orlando Bloom didn't think of that. Princess Laya didn't think of that. Elaine didn't think of that. If you thought of that, please answer me. Better yet, mail me the answer.

2005-05-17T17:12:00.000-07:00

I don't usually have toast in the morning- too much of a bother. All that sweat and energy put into a seemingly simple task. But I did today, because we had bagles and bagles make one heck of a brekfast. The second I popped the bagle in, it came catapulting back out again at an amazing speed. I peeked in tentively, and what do you think I saw? You guessed it. A mouse trap. Yes, someone had put a mouse trap in the toaster, I guess incase a mouse riggled his way through the bottom. Well, that woudl be a fairly simple chore ever since my cousin through the egg at the toaster. The egg went right through the bottom making this gigantic hole, and ever since then we can't put the first pieces of toast from the new bag in cause they'll just fall right through.

The Ol' Maple

2005-05-16T15:04:00.000-07:00

We played soccer in school today. Except, we didn't waste time with nerf balls in PE, this was REAL soccer. Meaning we kicked a bottle cap around at lunch. Anyhow, after an exceptionally high kick, the cap went sailing into the air and hit a nearby maple tree. As it teetered and tottered, at the tips of destruction, someone called the fire department. This was so if the maple might fall and strike a match, the fire department would be there to put out the fire. I still can't believe it, but the buzzing truck of the fire department got here just in time; the tree was tipping, the ground was shaking, and hooray! They grabbed a ladder, leaned it against the tree, one firewomen climbed up and retrieved the bottle cap, and the tree was restored to its natural, sturdy position. Unfortunately, now we can only kick nerf balls around.

Moral: Don't steal from your friends!

Up the Mountain, Over the Cliff

2005-05-12T20:37:00.000-07:00

Once, a man climbed up a mountain with nothing except determination. Once there, he strolled over the edge of a cliff and fell onto the rock which the caveman used to discover fire. The man immediately got amnesia and forgot about the rock. The rock was discovered only by the next unfortunate fellow to walk himself right over the edge of the cliff.

One clever civilian decided to climb the mountain from the bottom up, so that he could discover the rock without falling down the mountain and getting amnesia. The man got the rock, hauled it up the mountain, and walked right over the other side of the cliff, where he fell, hit his head on the whoever of a rock that was slinged at Goliath, and caught amnesia.

A passerby climbed the cliff from the side, so he wouldn't fall down either of the cliffs the previous two had. He collected the previous two rocks, climbed up the mountain, fell down the other side of the cliff, and bonked his head on Abraham Lincoln's tombstone and caught amnesia.
A traveler climbed up the last side, so as not to fall down the other three, and gathered the three rocks with success. However, when he reached the top of the cliff, he promptly walked right over the other side, hit his head on the skipping stone I tossed the other day, and....Well, I don't know what happens when someone hits their head on a skipping stone. I s'pose he would have died from the force of falling down the cliff in the first place.

2005-05-12T20:34:00.000-07:00

1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?

Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.

2 . How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?

Did you say, Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the refrigerator? That would be a wrong answer.

Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.

3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend. Except one . Which animal does not attend?

The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tests your memory.

Okay, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities.

4. There is a river you must cross but it is inhabited by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat. How do you manage it?

You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? ALL the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting! This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.

According to Anderson Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the professionals they tested got all questions wrong, but many preschoolers got several correct answers. Anderson Consulting says this conclusively disproves the theory that most professionals have the brains of a four year old.

Guys, I really think we

2005-05-11T07:06:00.000-07:00

should stop blogging all these posts like mad, and maybe take a break for a while. It's getting out of hand.

Top 5 Converstation Starters

2005-05-05T10:41:00.000-07:00

1. What do you think?
2. What have you done in the past ten years?
3. What're your favorites?
4. How is it done?
5. Why?

It's that time again...

2005-04-29T19:45:00.000-07:00

We've all noticed the allergies are back...we've all noticed the ants have re-instated themselves...we've all noticed the dipples.

Yes, I'm sorry to say the dipples are back. In our mouths, in our noses, in our ears. Crawling though our esophagus at a remarkable rate. Ever coming, never going...well, I suppose they must go if they come...yes, they must have gone at some time.

The point is that they're here. And they won't be leaving any time soon...well, until it's time for them to go...yes, I guess they must go if they come back.

They're discouraging us...we begin to work on our homework...ah, there's a dipple. The dipples are present while we eat, while we sleep, while we clean, while we weep. They're forever distracting us; our mother's forever asking us if they will leave. Yes, they'll leave, of coarse they'll leave. Afterall, they have to leave if they plan on coming back.

And they always do. Yes, the dipples are quick, sly, and cunning. They'll come, sooner or later. You'll feel a dipple between you're toes, and when you do you'll know; yes you'll know it's time for the dipples to come...of course they came..they went, didn't they?

Of coarse they went, they couldn't come if they hadn't went. And the dipples always come, so whichever way you please, they went. We'll find that as a comfort when they're crawling through our hair; they went. The couldn't have came if they hadn't went.

2005-04-29T19:22:00.000-07:00

I discovered a mildly entertaining site which I s'pose you could visit and have a pleasent time.
http://jigzone.com

2005-04-28T15:56:00.000-07:00

Who took it?
When did they take it?
Why did they take it?
Where did they put it?

10 Tips for a Successful Existence

2005-04-24T15:28:00.000-07:00

1. Mozzarella cheese is not a whoopee cushion; it will not make the proper farting noise, and is distressing to sit upon.
2. Jokes are preferred to be paired with a punch line.
3. Mega-phones should be used at a long distance only.
4. Aloe-Vera bottles are known to explode in the microwave.
5. No is not a substitute for yes; yes is not a substitute for no.
6. Letters will not go to the correct place when labeled with the wrong address.
7. Vanilla mint toothpaste does not mix well with…anything.
8. You (cannot) put any random word (in) parenthesis.
9. The @ symbol means ‘at’, not attention please everybody; yes I would like your attention.
10. Magnets only stick to magnet-friendly surfaces.

The Motto of the United States of America

2005-04-23T15:20:00.000-07:00

Do unto others as...there is even the smallest possibilty they could do to you in the future.

I'm Bored...

2005-04-22T16:23:00.000-07:00

Is anyone out there bored? Has anyone out there been bored? I predict a general murmer of agreement has followed.
We're not always bored when we think we are. Occasionaly, when we think we are bored we are merely hoping for something that beats drawing or reading. Those activities are not boring, but we want something more exciting.
Have you ever noticed that you are more frequently bored after taking a vacation or been at an amusment park? Esspecially when you get back at 1:00 p.m., with nearly half the day left. The problem is, we're still used to having something to do right off the bat. Do you really have nothing to do? No. You have nothing to do that beats the Redwoods, Maryland, a Cruise, etc., but there is still that book to finish, that tape to hear, those cookies to bake, or that story to write.
Make sure when you say you're bored, you truly are. Otherwise, you'll be offered the chance to wash the dishes or sweep the floor; the fact that you're bored will be used against you, either immedietly or in the future.

Proportions

2005-04-20T15:13:00.000-07:00

The other day, as I wandered hither and thither doing all but that which was necessary, I spotted something strange; something special; something suspicious; and something that must at once be fixed all in one little unsuspecting seemingly undisruptive sphere. It just so happens that, as I was gazing at the book shelf I recently moved over that tomato stain, I spotted a globe. Yes, one of those fancy spinnable affairs with stars to indicate national capitals and colors to specify the climate in the particuar place.
As I gazed, I couldn't help but notice that it was WAY out of proportion. No, I am not refering to the fact that Greenland is equal to the size of the U.S., but that the whole THING was way out of proportion. I mean, the world is WAY bigger then that. For those who have also noticed this error, I feel for you.

The Tomato in the Corner

2005-04-14T19:36:00.000-07:00

Warner's General Warning: Do not read this if you have tomatophobia.

In an acute and seemingly irrelevant corner in my house, where the walls are chipped and the sideboards scratched; where the electric outlets are phonies and there's an abundance of dust; there and only there lies the biggest...the baddest...the ripest...and the juiciest tomato yet to be discovered. Why is it there? Another story completely.
It started when Will (my big brother's best buddy) was house sitting. But it ended with something much badder...much less innocent. And so we begin the tale of a torn tomato in a position of terror-- the tomato in the corner.
Will was swaggering through the house last Sunday, pondering lunch, when he opened the refridgerator. Nothing in there but a vegitable; enter our tomato. Dissapointed, Will began to close the door. And then he remembered that tomatos were a key ingredient in a hamburger-- which were, infact, pretty good. He reached for the tomato, and, unsuspectingly, poked it. He felt inside. He felt IT. He screamed and left the house full blast, tossing the tomato behind him carelessly. What did we find when we returned, but a tomato sitting in the corner of our house. And it's been laying there ever since...all of us to aprensive to touch it. And there I suspect it will lay for ever, because, in the words of Issac Newton, "An object at rest will stay at rest unless acted on by a force such as gravity or friction."

Important Notice:

2005-04-14T15:12:00.000-07:00

There is little more satisfying then chugging milk straight from the jug. You should try it sometime when no one's around. I did.

The Thrill Of It All

2005-04-09T20:01:00.000-07:00

We all channel surf…and because the infomercials are scattered on random channels, it takes a while for us to find the best one: the one with the jewelry. Anyway, as we flip through the multitude of maddening media, we are almost sure to encounter the best of the bunch: the golf channel.
We all like action movies, loaded with thrill that makes your heart skip a beat. Unfortunately, not all of us can afford to rent one every time we catch the hankering. This would be a problem if we didn’t have that handy channel thirty-some, just waiting to be clicked on.
So you’ve coaxed you’re out-of-whack remote to thirty-some, and are greeted by… what? A load of grass? No, silly goose, that’s golf. You just happened to switch there at the wrong time-in the 20 minutes that the camera surveys the grass. Oh, wait there it goes…that little white ball. That one you can hardly see. That one that’s rolling past the tree…the post…the dock. That one that just fell into the water. Splash. Bummer for whacker 21. Oh well. Now he’s got to fish it out. Where’s his cart? There it is. Yes, it would be a bother to go through the trouble of actually walking that hundred feet.
And up comes whacker 58. Slowly. Slowly. The cat’s asleep. Here he is, standing two feet away from the hole. He hits. Suspense…He makes it. Yesssssss.
You get my point.

Saturday's Quote

2005-04-09T08:23:00.000-07:00

This is my home
this is my only home
this is the only sacred ground that I have ever known
and should I stray
in the dark night alone
rock me goddess in the gentle arms of eden.

-gentle arms of eden, dave carter.

Clouds

2005-04-05T10:02:00.000-07:00

Hi, Everbody.
I'm in school right now, in my Reading Enrichment class. I've got basically nothing to do, because I've already done what we're supposed to be doing. Next to me, my friend is coloring a cloud gray, because it's a rain cloud. I usually leave my clouds white.

Saturday's Quote

2005-04-02T20:17:00.000-08:00

in praise or lamentation, peace or desperation
any way i do, i come into the presence of the lord.
-anyway i do, dave carter.

Reminiscing April Fools

2005-04-02T16:53:00.000-08:00

April Fools Day; The only day, perhaps, that many of us are labeled clever and tricky. Also the only day that we can lie to people without being thoroughly busted, and turn the clocks back without getting the third degree. The day that, in the words of Mark Twain, "we are reminded of what we are on the other 364." But unless we want to be unpleasant people, I recommend you follow the following guidelines:
Do not make people...
a) cry.
b) blow up
or
c) hate you for the rest of their life.

Here are five things to keep out of your clever April Fool schemes:
1. Explosions
2. Rubber bands
3. Screams
4. Mass Destruction
5. Reports that you and Sara made up and brought to school to tell Paige were due, then running ahead and asking your teacher to pretend were due also. It's not a good idea when your teacher tells Paige they are worth 200 points on her grade, because Paige will get teary eyed. Your teacher will get worried and tell her it's a trick, and you won't even be able to yell "April Fools!" with Sara.

Joke Of The 7-Day Period

2005-03-31T19:23:00.000-08:00

What do an elephant and grapes have in common?

They're both purple except for the elephant.

Groan...

2005-03-29T20:20:00.000-08:00

Well Huna, I'm not what they'd call the early bird :)

Man, was I bummed out this morning to be waking up at 6:30...not 9:00! See, I was used to spending my mornings in uttermost luxury, and groggily forcing myself out of bed at 6:30...isn't.
Sometimes I sympathize with teachers, because who wants to be the sergeants of a military camp that most everyone hates to go to and will do anything to get out of? But like, they haven't done a lot to make school wiz-bang wonderful for us, so maybe they're just bringing down on their own formidable brow.

Ok, it's 6:50 a.m., so I'm gonna quit now and have some coffee...

A Word to the Wise

2005-03-27T19:42:00.000-08:00

Yes, Huna. I wrote this.

I thought that, if any of you were going on a safari any time soon, you might be appreciative of the following tip:
Never, ever even think of rubbing your eyes right after you spot an elephant relieving his bladder. This is because elephants are very easily embarrassed, and they cower to think that someone rubbed their eyes proceeding a pee, because the majority of elephants believe that if you rub your eyes, you before must have been staring, due to the water you would need to rub out after affixing your eyes with an unblinking stare. Because everyone feels self conscious peeing in public and in plain view (elephants are no different), to rub your eyes after they pee might imply that you were staring at them, no less.
Sad but true.

It's Not All That Easy

2005-03-26T15:45:00.000-08:00

Note: I wrote this to raise awareness of the major problems of some kids, that some adults continue to leave unaddressed. But, just like the some adults who have major problems, we don't want ours to be completely disgarded.

It is a mystery why many adults reckon that kids have such easy lives, especially since only a few decades ago, they were children themselves. I wonder if, due to an unfortunate case of memory loss, they remember their childhood as a simple, unproblematic, care-free, and happy-go-lucky life. If they continue to be unaware of what is really happening in the lives of some of today's children, then I'm afraid of how long this is going to continue unaddressed. I do not want adults to continue to believe that a day in the life of all American Children is like the day in the life of my cat: happy, care-free.
Maybe not all of us kids are worrying about paying the bills or problems at work, but that does not mean that the pressure to be buff and beautiful, thin and big-busted doesn’t exist. The media tells us that, if we’re not all these, we might not be, well, anyone at all.
All this strain can lead to very nasty problems indeed. Bulimia & anorexia, depression, or a feeling of rejection that never goes away. Far too many of cases like these have ended in suicide. It’s so sad that many adults don’t realize what many kids go through until a disaster like this occurs.
Many adults just don’t believe that our life could possibly be as tough as theirs. Undoubtedly, many of us have it easier then our elders, and we can accept that. But far to many elders cannot recognize that many of them have no problems at all compared to a child, possibly their own, or one they know. It is partially this unawareness of our problems that causes these tragedies, and partly our inevitable exposure to the media which tells us to look a certain way or be a certain person. When we discover we can’t be that person, what I listed before can happen.
Because some (I’m not saying 100% of) adults figure we’re not having many problems, they go back to being caught up in their own. If they don’t think we’re having troubles, they don’t question us about it until, in some cases, it’s too late.
I hope that I have raised the awareness of anyone who’s reading this. My aim was, not to criticize adults, but simply to remind them of what some kids’ lives are like, and not to let that go unnoticed.

My Bad

2005-03-25T19:23:00.000-08:00

Hey guys, I wasn't aware that the comp would take care of the signing for me on "My First Post," and that's why it was signed twice. I thought you might have thunk my liberal signing was all for the love of it. Nope.

My First Post

2005-03-25T19:12:00.000-08:00

Hi everybody (or anybody) who's reading this. I just wanted to make sure you knew this was my first blog and not my second or third.
-Fulton Creek